I was saved from sin(罪过) when I was going on thirteen. But not really saved. It happened like this. There was a big revival(复活) at my Auntie Reed’s church. Then just before the revival ended, they held a special meeting for children, “to bring the young lambs to the fold(羊栏)”. My aunt spoke of it for days ahead. That night I was accompanied to the front row and placed on the mourners’ bench with all the other young sinners, who had not yet been brought to Jesus.

　　My aunt told me that when you were saved you saw a light, and something happened to you inside! And Jesus came into your life! And God was with you from then on! She said you could see and hear and feel Jesus in your soul. I believed her.

　　So I sat there calmly in the hot, crowded church, waiting for Jesus to come to me. I wanted to see him, but nothing happened to me. Nothing! I wanted something to happen to me, but nothing happened.

　　Now it was really getting late. So I decided that maybe to save further trouble, I’d better lie and say that Jesus had come, and get up and be saved. So I get up. The whole room broke into a sea of shouting and my aunt threw her arms around me. The minister took me by the hand and led me to the platform.

　　That night I cried. I cried, in bed alone, and couldn’t stop. My aunt woke up and told my uncle I was crying because the Holy Ghost had come into my life, and because I had seen Jesus. But I was really crying because I couldn’t bear to tell her that I had lied, that I had deceived everyone in the church, that I hadn’t seen Jesus, and that now I didn’t believe there was a Jesus any more, since he didn’t come to help me.

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