"Sometimes if you are talking, sometimes at the university, or at work, if you are talking about Moammar Gadhafi, if you've got real friends they will say, 'Shh. Someone will hear you.' So all of us are afraid," she noted.

Amina says the fear of being caught by the secret police is ever present. The consequences, well documented cases of torture and death, led some to join in the spying rather than risk being the victim.

Psychological toll

The former diplomat says the suspicions and the twisted allegiances forced on nearly everyone have left a high psychological toll.

"This is kind of our sickness, in their brain. We have to refresh the brain and the way how to treat, how to work, how to be clean, to be clear, not to be damaged like before," the ex-diplomat added.

Shaking off the suspicion and the damage is a long process, but it has been done before. South Africa and the former East Germany offer two templates of overcoming trauma. But it takes years, perhaps decades, and in Libya, it would likely only begin in a post-Gadhafi era.

In the meantime, Amina says, people must live with the fact of Gadhafi supporters, and enforcers, remaining in their midst.

"It's hard because there are still some people who believe in Moammar's regime," Amina noted.

Amina recounts how last month a government push to retake Benghazi emboldened Gadhafi supporters in the rebel stronghold. She was coming home around noon with her youngest child in her arms.