As women and men grow up and form loving adult relationships, it becomes increasingly important for couples to create a space in which they can relax, be themselves, and grow closer. For many couples, the bed they share may be the place to which they retreat for feelings of safety, comfort and love - not to mention sex. A couple's bed is where they may let down their emotional and physical guards during sleep as well as during sex. In fact, it may be one of the few places where they can make themselves feel entirely vulnerable to another human being.
For some people, trust and security come easy. For others, learning to be vulnerable to another person is a struggle that they may or may not win with time, practice and what feels like great risk taking. Consequently, as damaging as affairs in any shape or form may be, they can feel particularly threatening when a person allows their affair into the bed they share with their partner. Betraying trust by letting someone else into a couple's bed can feel not just hurtful, but devastating.
The bed is such a special place for many women and men that it's not unusual for some couples to say that they have their best conversations with each other when they are in bed. Maybe they wake up on weekends feeling rested and enjoy lying together, just talking. Perhaps before sleep, the ritual of getting undressed, settling into bed and holding one another close allows the conversation to flow more naturally than during the day. For some couples, it's sex that brings them closer - kissing, hugging, touching, and naked passion may be followed by cuddling, closeness and sharing secrets one might never think to share over breakfast, let's say, or watching television.
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