gre issue 官方范文(一)_GRE写作

gre issue 官方范文(一)

　　The essay reasons that while the automobile and other transportation mechanisms originally kept passengers physically and intellectually isolated from one another, modern technology, such as the cellular telephone and laptop computer, has made intellectual contact faster and easier and has benefited users by allowing them to communicate with a larger number of people.

　　The response provides clear and relevant examples of the ways in which technological developments facilitate and encourage intellectual communication.

　　The writer examines the impact of user-friendly Internet access on the individuals ability to interact with others even when physical distance separates the communicating parties.

　　The organization is clear, yet transitions between paragraphs are not always smooth.

　　The body of the essay lacks the focus that would help move it to a score of 6.

　　It is not always clear how the information given relates to the essays initial position .

　　The conclusion, while clearly relevant, attempts to impose order on the somewhat loosely connected paragraphs, yet fails to add substance to the analysis.

　　On the whole, the essay displays clarity and control, but the language is sometimes imprecise and less tightly controlled than it would be in a 6 essay.

　　The following sentence is one such example: The motivation for the declaration that loneliness is increasing may be due to the fact that many people, especially blue-collar workers, are unable to afford or use these new devices.