Reader Comment on 6
This outstanding response demonstrates the writers insightful analytical skills.
The introduction, which notes that adopting the prompts fallacious reasoning could ...inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear, is followed by a comprehensive examination of each of the arguments root flaws. Specifically, the writer exposes several points that undermine the argument:
that preventive and protective gear are not the same
that skaters who wear gear may be less prone to accidents because they are, by nature, more responsible and cautious
that the statistics do not differentiate by the severity of the injuries
that gear may not need to be high-quality to be beneficial
The discussion is smoothly and logically organized, and each point is thoroughly and cogently developed. In addition, the writing is succinct, economical and error-free. Sentences are varied and complex, and diction is expressive and precise.
In sum, this essay exemplifies the very top of the 6 range described in the scoring guide. If the writer had been less eloquent or provided fewer reasons to refute the argument, the essay could still have been scored 6.
小总结:
分析原题目中可取之处;指出原文中不足之处;推出论据中的潜在后果。正文中第一段质疑我认为的核心假设错误,后三段按原文逻辑顺序攻击三点,如本文中人的本质==〉人受的伤的差别==〉为防受伤,买质量好的就有用?可以看出,这三点是与原文中三段论式论证环环相扣的。这就是前面第一部分讲解awintro中提到的analytical writing的具体应用。
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