1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.
二、多用语意具体的动词,保持句意简洁明了。例如:
1、Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.Better: My supervisor sauntered past my desk.
2、Poor: She is a careful shopper.Better: She compares prices and quality.
三、尽量运用主动语态。例如:
1、Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.Better: Charity has supported the organization.
2、Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如:
1、Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
2、Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
3、Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
4、Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
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