末端
In conclusion, while at first it may seem to make financial sense to improve the safety of the work environment sometimes it truly does not make financial sense. Furthermore, financial sense may not be the only issue a company faces. Other types of analyses must be made such as the social ramifications of an unsafe work environment and the overall ability of a company to improve that environment 。 Before any decision is made, all this things must be considered, not simply the reduction of payroll expenses.
1. 首段再现了原TOPIC的推理过程,并指出其assumptions多有不适;尤其令阅卷人高兴的是:首段在最后简化罗列了推理中的三个问题。要知道美国人就喜欢的作文---总分式,在首段就把三个ideas罗列出来,然后在中间三段分别展开,先总后分,一目了然。
2. 中一的TS -- The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment.可谓是一针见血,一剑封喉。对于这样严重的推理漏洞,如果不首先指出,其argument必然软弱乏力。此所谓Topic中的必削点,不可不察。
3. 中二的TS This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment.这可谓是剑走偏锋,独辟蹊径,出人所料。文章竟然批评了Topic以钱为本经营理念,提出了要以人为本,这样写是有一定风险,毕竟这不是Issue。那本文是如何化险为夷的呢?且看本段最后一句this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.我不由得长舒一口,人家再次回归了,又回到了Topic中以Money为本的推理。
【GMAT高分作文的评判标准及技巧】相关文章:
最新
2016-03-02
2016-03-02
2016-03-02
2016-03-02
2016-03-02
2016-03-02