3、Original: The kinds of education that we got on school are formal and intense ones...
Revised: The kinds of education that we receive at school is formal and of tentimes very intense.
不必用kinds of education,直接用education即可;受教育不同get,改为receive;在学校不必用at school;把one去掉,用oftentimes very intense指出学校教育常常是非常严格的。
4、Original: They can foster their interests in some fields to make life more colorful and meaningful.
Revised: They can even pick up hobbies to make life more colorful and enjoyable.
Foster their interests是培养兴趣,此处用pick up hobbies更为合适;不同的兴趣是我们生活的调味剂,使我们的生活多姿多彩,乐趣无穷,把meaningful换成 enjoyable,与colorful搭配更合适。
5、Original: Needless to say, more employment means more income and less idle life, so that people can enjoy a better life and make investment in their future.
Revised: Needless to say, more employment means income and less idle time, so that people can enjoy a better life and invest in their own futures.
把idle life改为idle time更为合适,表示闲散时间make investment可改为动词invest,与and前的动词enjoy词性一致;人们各自有自己的未来,故将in their future改为in their own futures。
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