二.1 His words reverberated unceasingly nearby my ear, even in mine dream.
The next day, I could not focus on the match. At the beginning of the match, the score was 1:4.
2 What are you doing? My partner shouted at me while his hand knocked at my head and his arm winded around my shoulder. You shouldnt pay attention to your failure that was something in the past. And you must focus on this match now! He shouted. At last, we won the match and got the prize of 6th that year.
分析:
1 修改:His words stayed in my mind for such a long time that I could not focus my attention on the doubles match the next day.
2 呵呵,在这位同学的营造下,他的朋友成了又一个马景涛,很喜欢吼,看过实在忍俊不禁。
修改:He, holding out his hand, firstly knocked at my head, had me in his arm and told me some words that I would never forget, Cheer up. Do not cry over the split milk. Just let it go. Put aside the previous failure and try your best in the current match. He drove those words so deep into my heart that I finally made it. Finally, we won the
注:各位要学会多用对话加强真实感。
三 When we came back to Suzhou, I began to work harder on my tennis training. Everyday I went to the tennis court after school. From 5p.m. to 8p.m., I 1exert all my strength at training. Everyday I was still training 2while my teammates went home with their parents.
【SAT作文中间段修改实例讲解(一)】相关文章:
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