SAT写作真题批改实例讲解_SAT写作

SAT写作真题批改实例讲解

　　问题：

　　1在SAT语法中，and 这个词的左右对等问题是大家要特别注意的。其次white section 也没有交代清楚，容易引起困惑。大家可能觉得很奇怪，写给美国人看，需要交代得那么清楚吗，他们肯定知道啦。如果这样想就违反了写作reader-friendly的宗旨。出现特殊概念，要同位语或从句解释，这样才符合官方指南中connect to the audience的目的。

　　2处最大的问题在于逻辑,拒绝出现的比较突然。

　　为什么她不愿让座，因为她内心觉得黑人和白人应该是一样的，可以拥有相同权利，这是为什么挑战的原因。

　　3处也有一点突兀，如要要改建议加上报警的原因，因为驾驶员生气或是觉得权威被挑战Angered by her refusal, the bus driver called the police。

　　修改：

　　突出挑战过程，增加细节

　　In Montgomery, the first four rows of bus seats were reserved for white people. Though black people could sit in the middle rows when there was vacancy, they had to move to seats in the rear, stand, or, if there was no room, leave the bus when the white section was full.（这也是一种白人是权威细节） But on December 1st, 1955, Alabama Rosa Parks, a tired black woman, got on a bus heading for her home after a days hard work. She paid her fare and sat in an empty seat in the first row of back seats reserved for blacks in the colored section, which was near the middle of the bus and directly behind the ten seats reserved for white passengers. . As the bus traveled along its regular route, all of the white-only seats in the bus filled up. The bus reached the third stop in front of the Empire Theater, and several white passengers boarded. So, following standard practice, bus driver Blake noted that the front of the bus was filled with white passengers and there were two or three men standing, and thus moved the colored section sign behind Parks and demanded that four black people give up their seats in the middle section so that the white passengers could sit. And the other three people moved, but she didnt and said to herself, I would have to know for once and for all what rights I had as a human being and a citizen.（这是挑战的原因） The driver then added, Why dont you stand up?Parks responded, I dont think I should have to stand up. And he said, Well, if you dont stand up, Im going to have to call the police and have you arrested. I said, you may do that. （这一段在描绘她是怎么挑战的。可以通过对话加强真实感，这是满分作文经常用的套路）