Revised: people attend university or college for a multitude of reasons...

　　此处将various改为短语a multitude of更为正式，体现人们读大学的原因很多。

　　3、Original: The kinds of education that we got on school are formal and intense ones...

　　Revised: The kinds of education that we receive at school is formal and of tentimes very intense.

　　不必用kinds of education，直接用education（教育）即可；受教育不同get，改为receive；在学校不必用at school；把one去掉，用oftentimes very intense指出学校教育常常是非常严格的。

　　4、Original: They can foster their interests in some fields to make life more colorful and meaningful.

　　Revised: They can even pick up hobbies to make life more colorful and enjoyable.

　　Foster their interests是培养兴趣，此处用pick up hobbies（开始各种各样的兴趣）更为合适；不同的兴趣是我们生活的调味剂，使我们的生活多姿多彩，乐趣无穷，把meaningful换成 enjoyable，与colorful搭配更合适。

　　5、Original: Needless to say, more employment means more income and less idle life, so that people can enjoy a better life and make investment in their future.

　　Revised: Needless to say, more employment means income and less idle time, so that people can enjoy a better life and invest in their own futures.

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