本段评点
这一段话虽然立刻表明了作者自己的立场,但是内容不饱满,大多叙述是重复和多余的。比如,It means 这一句完全是多余的。Tryon Edwards说的话本来很明白,浅显,不用再解释一遍。或者,可以说自己的那句解释,但是不用引用Tryon Edwards的那句话。
学生习作(第二段) 语言修改 At the age of fifteen, I was a student of senior one. Because I always got high scores in mathematics, physics and English, my class teacher arranged a student who did not get high scores in mathematics, physics and English and she wanted me to help the student improve her grades. After class, she often asked me some questions. I explained them patiently to her. However, when I taught her the lessons, I surprisingly found that I, myself, also had some obscure ideas of some points. In order to make both my deskmate and me clearly, I reviewed my book, went to the teachers office to ask my teacher and put the question to my classmates. Thus, I comprehensively mastered the knowledge and managed to tell it to my deskmate. During my teaching days, not only my deskmate but also I increased the test scores. At the age of fifteen, I was a senior middle school student. Because I always scored high in mathematics, physics and English, my teacher arranged for me to help a student who did not score so high in these classes. After class, she often asked me some questions. I explained them patiently to her.However, when I taught her the lessons I was surprised to find out that some ideas were obscure to me as well. In order to clearly understand the points in question for myself and my classmate, I reviewed the text and consulted my teacher. Thus, I was able to master the knowledge and teach it to my classmate. While tutoring, both my classmate and I were able to increase our test scores.
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