In addition, focusing only on the actions of groups and teams will neglect and even harm the individuals or majoritys benefits. Before the Civil War, the days were a time when the white owners of plantation suppressed and exploited the black slaves to gain their money and estates. Because of the prodigious benefits they received, the government reluctantly allowed the slavery to be legal based on the protest and conviction of the group of white while neglected the black slaves miserable conditions as they were beaten, separated from their families and toil laboriously entire of their lives. However, some slaves escaped from the oppression and told the truth to the Northern people and strived them to take actions against the slavery. It was not until that Lincoln proclaimed the Emancipation that the oppression was over. Had we not followed the actions and suppression of groups of white, we would not see more tragedies and inequalities. Even more, if we did not take the actions of some slaves seriously, their benefits and rights wont be assured.
From the two instances I have stated, we can safely draw the conclusion that sometime the individuals actions are more valuable than the actions of groups. It will always be the case in the past and in the future.
在文章开头,我用转折清楚地表达了自己的观点。之后用两个准备很充分的例子进一步说明,在举例子是我并不是长篇累牍地叙述整个事情的经过,而是将重点放在议论上,从正反两个角度论证,如果听从个人的行动会怎样,如果听从集体的行动则会怎样。结尾时间来不及,而且也不够位置写,所以我就没展开太多,只是很简单地重新强调了我的观点。由此看来,虽然里面还是有不少语法和单词拼写错误,但并没影响评卷人给我打的分数。一篇完整且PERSUASIVE的ESSAY 就足够拿12分了。
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