Looking at the scoring guide, this is a three response. It demonstrates inadequate mastery, but developing skills. With some more time and work, Shannon probably could turn this paper around. In the time she had, however, she kept her viewpoint narrow. She took the concept of friends and friendship very literally and personally. Although Marcos response is not exactly global, it is more hypothetical. It does not sound as much like a personal response to the importance of friends and friendship in ones life. It is important for you to try to think outside the box, as they say. Try not to respond entirely from the gut; attempt to respond from your mind.
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