says Barbara Steinmetz, a financial planner in Burlingame, Calif.
One person thinks they have a shared goal of saving for a house, car or retirement, and the other doesnt.
In fact, most fights occur not because of the amount of money spent
but because of unspoken expectations that couples have
and are often afraid to talk about.
Sometimes its clashing styles, sometimes mismatched agendas,
but people get so rooted in their own money views
that they cant see that their partner simply has a different perspective.
Steinmetz described one couple she advised who had this blind spot.
The husband first outlined his goals for investing, retirement savings, etc.
Steinmetz then asked the wife about her goals.
The husband was shocked to find out his wife had goals
and they were different from his! she says.
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