These differences continue into adult life, she says. In public conversations, men talk most and interrupt other speakers more. In private conversations, men and women speak in equal amountsalthough they say things in a different style. Professor Tannen believes that, for woman, private talking is a way to establish and test intimacy. For men, private talking is a way to explore the power structure of a relationship.
Teaching is one job where the differences between mens and womens ways of talking show. When a man teaches a woman, says Professor Tannen, he wants to show that he has more knowledge, and hence more power in conversation. When a woman teaches another woman, however, she is more likely to take a sharing approach and to encourage her student to join in.
But Professor Tannen does not believe that women are naturally more helpful. She says women feel they achieve power by being able to help others. Although the research suggests men talk and interrupt people more than women, Professor Tannen says, women actually encourage this to happen because they believe it will lead to more intimacy and help to establish a relationship.
Some scientists who are studying speech think that the brain is preprogrammed for language. As we are usually taught to speak by women, it seems likely that the brain must have a sexual bias in its programming,
otherwise male speech patterns would not arise at all.
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