another.
In between the intensely rivalrous and the generally supportive siblings lie those who relate in an irritable manner that no friendship should survive. Some brothers and sisters stay at arms length, but always stop short ot ending ties completely. Why do these puzzling, unproductive, often painful relationships
persist?
In part because the bonds forged in childhood remain powerful even after siblings have grown up and gone their separate ways. These relationships are so intimate that the participants share a closeness unlike any other. But along with the affection contributing to that closeness, there is room for anger, jealousy and resentment.
Stephen Bank, a family therapist and co-author with Michael D. Kahn of The Sibling Bond, explains why: There are few adults who dont believe deep down that a sibling got more of something than they did parental love, advantages, brains, looks. It could be true, but it really doesnt matter. If, as adults, theyre successful enough to feel on an equal footing, siblings can give each other a great deal. If not, unresolved feelings can distort their relationships.
The need for parental love is as instinctive as breathing, and the struggle to keep it all for yourself begins with the birth of a younger sister or brother. According to Bank, when the rivalry between adult siblings achieves neurotic
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