痛苦的事情总会留下疤痕,的确是这样,但它们也会随着时间淡去。神经解剖学家Jill Bolte Taylor因中风失忆了,她把这称为失去了37年的情感包袱。 其实不需要中风,我们也能经历类似的情感转变。你现在正在做的事情怀疑以往的想法已经足够你把过去那些事都翻篇了。比如,找一件曾让你困扰的事情,再想想三个原因来证明这种想法也许是错的。你的大脑就会忘记这个困扰。
4. It matters what people think of me.
4. 别人的看法对我很重要。
But if I fail, you may protest, people will think badly of me! This dreaded fate causes despair, suicide, homicide. I realized this when I read blatant lies about myself on the Internet. When I bewailed this to a friend, she said, Wow, you have some painful fantasies about other people s fantasies about you. Yup, my anguish came from my hypothesis that other people s hypothetical hypotheses about me mattered. Ridiculous! Right now, imagine what you d do if it absolutely didn t matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.
如果我失败了,人们就会看不起我了!你也许会这样想。这种想法只会造成失望、自杀和杀人,这是我在网上看到对自己不实的诽谤时体会到的。我把这些和一个朋友倾诉,她说你现在是因为幻想别人对你的看法而感到痛苦。 是的,我的怨恨都来自于我的假设,我假想别人会对我做出一些评价。多可笑!现在试想一下,你将要做的事与别人怎么想你完全无关。学会了吗?很好,一直保持下去吧。
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