Its important for families to talk about long-term care so the adult children know their parents,preferences, wishes and goals, says Lynn Feinberg, a caregiving expert at AARP. But its not an easy conversation. Elderly parents are sometimes suspicious of their childrens financial motives, says Susan John, a financial planner at Financial Focus in Wolfeboro, N.H. One client asked John to hold a family meeting because they needed an intermediary to talk about financial issues, she says. And when there are many siblings, the family decisions can become a three-ring circus with much acrimony, says Ann-Margaret Carrozza, an elder-law attorney in Glen Cove, N.Y. Families who need information and help sorting out disagreements can call on elder-law attorneys, financial planners, geriatric care managers and caregiver support groups. In February, AARP said it will offer its members a new caregiving support service through financial services firm Genworth.
Many families are unprepared for quick decisions, especially when they find out that Medicare doesnt pay for long-term care, Feinberg says. The median cost of a year in a private room at a nursing home in 2011 was $77,745, according to Genworth. And only those who have spent most of their assets can qualify for Medicaid to pay for the nursing home.
Assisted living is another option. Residents can have their own apartment to maintain some independence. But the facilities generally provide personal care services, such as meals, housekeeping and assistance with activities. Still, its not cheap: The national median cost in 2011 was $39,135, according to Genworth. Assisted living isnt covered by Medicaid.
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