If they have a choice, at least 90% of elderly parents prefer to stay at home as long as they can, according to
AARP research. But if the parents can no longer safely live at home, it can be hard for children to move them into an adult care facility. There may be another option. Sometimes the home can be modified so a parent can stay there. For example, Baldocchi put in a chair lift for her mother. She also arranged for a home caregiver.
Family caregivers take over many responsibilities. One might manage a parents finances, while another sibling will take the parent to doctors appointments and shopping. Those who move in with a parent take on a significant and sustained burden of care. Jan Walker moved into her mothers home in Leesburg, Fla. After her mother, who is 83, had fallen, she wasnt able to get around as well. Walker, 55, has three brothers. But she is the only daughter, is divorced and has no children. I always knew that this was the role that I would have, and I guess my mind was prepared for it, says Walker, who now is a full-time caregiver and works from home as a tutorial instructor for a digital scrapbooking website. When you get into the trenches, its literally baptism by fire, she says. New things come up. Its not just about advance planning for finances or medical care. Its everything, she says.
Caregivers need to also watch their own health. There is such a thing as caregiver burnout, Cona says. Among female caregivers 50 and older, 20% reported symptoms of depression, according to a 2010 study on working caregivers by MetLife. Its a hard job, Walker says. But most worthwhile things are hard. She was always there for me when I needed a helping hand. Its only natural that I be here for her now.
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