Kids arent all raised the same, agrees Professor Naomi White of Monash University. But there is still an idea that theyre the property of the parent. We see our children as an extension of ourselves, so if youre saying that my child is behaving inappropriately, then thats somehow a criticism of me.
inappropriately
Inappropriately为副词,修饰behave,表示行为如何。由下文a criticism of me可知,inappropriately为贬义词,我们可猜知是行为不当。
In those circumstances, its difficult to know whether to approach the child directly or the parent first. There are two schools of thought.
Id go to the child first, says Andrew Fuller, author of Tricky Kids. Usually a quiet reminder that we dont do that here is enough. Kids nave finely tuned antennae for how to behave in different settings.
He points out bringing it up with the parent first may make them feel neglectful, which could cause problems. Of course, approaching the child first can bring its own headaches, too.
This is why White recommends that you approach the parents first. Raise your concerns with the parents if theyre there and ask them to deal with it, she says.
Asked how to approach a parent in this situation, psychologist Meredith Fuller answers: Explain your needs as well as stressing the importance of the friendship. Preface your remarks with something like: I know youll think Im silly but in my house I dont want
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