UNIT 7
The Decision
Dr. Sam said to me: I dont know how to say this, except to come right out with it, Miriam. The tests we did last week show that there are abnormalities with the fetus. I recommend you consider an abortion.
I sat, hands folded together in my lap, numbed by his words. The world around me disappeared as I strove to absorb the dreadful news Dr. Sam was giving me. His voice came to me as if spoken in a tunnel, hollow and echoing. Could this be true? The baby inside me, the miracle created by love, wasnt perfect!
Your baby has a condition known as Downs Syndrome. The problems you will face if you dont terminate this pregnancy could be overwhelming, especially now that Paul is no longer with you. Here I was, thirty nine years old, pregnant for the first time, and my doctor, my trusted friend, was telling me I should kill this innocent life in my womb. I knew I had to respond but words escaped me. Finally, I was able to speak. I need some time to consider my options. With all that has happened in the past month and a half, I dont want to do anything without knowing all I can about this.
You dont have long, Miriam. You are eleven weeks along and its dangerous to perform an abortion after twelve weeks, try not to prolong your decision.
Its too much for me to get my head around right now. I need to think. I promise Ill get back to you in a day or so. I left the office in a daze. What was I going to do? Where would I begin? Who, besides Dr. Sam, would be able to advise me? My parents were on the other side of the world, teaching in China. I felt that if I could talk to Mom, held in her comforting arms, she would give me some of her wisdom. If I could be face-to-face with Dad, he would give me strength. They were all I had left in my world. My husband, Paul, had been killed in a traffic accident six weeks ago. Mom and Dad had gone back to China a week after the funeral, when they thought I was able to cope with my loss. There was nowhere to turn.
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