Wordy: Another important aspect is good health. It is one of our great blessings. It may be achieved through proper diet and exercise. Rest is also desirable.
Better: The great blessing of good health may be had through proper diet, exercise, and rest.
词语简化的一些技巧
2 策略之一:用介词短语替代从句。
例:
Wordy: While they were playing tennis, she started an argument that lasted all morning.
Better: During tennis she started an argument that lasted all morning.
Wordy: When you come to the second traffic light, turn right.
Better: At the second traffic light turn left.
2 策略之二:删除诸如who is或that is之类的关系代词,变从句为短语。
例:
Wordy: The novel, which is written in three parts, told a story that took place in the Middle Ages.
Better: The three-part novel told a story set in the Middle Ages.
注:把句中的three parts改用形容词来表达,节省了四个不必要的单词which is written in。我们经常可以将关系代词如that去掉,这只会引起最少的变动。
2 策略之三:剔除你不需要的单词
Two joint partners will present their views over a long-distance telephone call.
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