Improved: The village, with its seven thousand people, was struck by a typhoon and practically demolished.
Ineffective: He was the mayor of the town, and he was a genial fellow, and he invited the four young boys into his study.
Improved: The mayor of the town, a genial fellow, invited the four young boys into his study.
Ineffective: The central plain holds Switzerlands major manufacturing facilities and many of them specialize in high-quality and precision products.
Improved: The central plain holds Switzerlands major manufacturing facilities, many of them specializing in high-quality, precision products.
Plain: I had always wanted to go to college, and I had always wished to become an engineer, and so I enrolled at Dalian University of Science and Technology
Interesting: Because I had always wanted to enter college and prepare myself to become an engineer, I enrolled at Dalian University of Science and Technology.
Or Better:
I enrolled at Dalian University of Science and Technology to achieve my double purpose of attending college and becoming an engineer.
Plain: Near the center of the campus of our university a new building has been erected, and it is constructed of red brick.
Better: A red-brick building has been erected near the center of our university campus.
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