没有什么话比“我想我们该好好谈谈了”这句更令丈夫们心惊胆战的了。下次谈话的时候还是选一个更加吉利的开头吧,著有《婚姻会议使爱情持久:每周30分钟,给你想要的爱情》一书的治疗专家玛西亚•内奥米•伯格如是说道。
“The phrase ‘we need to talk’ is often a signal that the wife has complaints or criticism about the husband,” she said. “He assumes he somehow failed you and withdraws, creating a disconnect, which is the exact opposite of what you were trying to accomplish.”
她表示:“当妻子说出‘我想我们该好好谈谈了’,意味着她对丈夫有了诸多抱怨与意见。丈夫会猜测他可能哪里得罪了妻子,于是消极对待,主动失联,让妻子根本没办法和他谈下去。”
5. “Man up.”
5.“能不能有点男人样。”
Seriously? There’s no right or wrong way to be a man. For your spouse’s sake, let your gender expectations go and try to have a civil conversation.
开玩笑,像不像个男人根本没有确切的标准。为了你和丈夫之间的感情,你最好还是放下有关性别的言论,换用其他更为礼貌的话语。
“Telling your spouse to ‘man up’ is a brutal attack on his core identity,” Howes said. “It’s a statement loaded with contempt and shame and could create relationship damage that will be difficult to heal.”
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