It's easy to think back on past relationships and remember only the negatives. You catalog your mistakes and dwell on the time you wasted with someone who left you with emotional baggage, a broken heart and little else.

想起过往的恋情，人们通常只记得不好的地方。你把自己的错误区分开来，不断回忆过去你浪费在这个人身上的时间，这个人让你感情受挫、心碎不已，除此之外几乎没留下任何东西。

But what if instead you looked at a split as an educational experience (albeit a really painful one) that taught you valuable lessons about what you want and absolutely don't want in your next relationship? Earlier this week, Redditors did just that, sharing the most important lesson they've learned by way of heartbreak.

但是如果你把一段破裂的关系看作一个学习的机会(虽然是非常痛苦的一段)，会教会你一些有价值的教训，让你在下一段恋情中清楚地知道你想要什么、不想要什么。这周前几天，Reddit的忠实读者们在网上将他们失败恋情得来的惨痛教训分享出来。

1. "You need to preserve your own identity and your space. Embrace your individuality, pursue your interests while sharing some of it as a couple."

“你要不能失去自我，要保留一份自己的空间。热爱自己的个性之处，在和对方分享自己一部分兴趣的同时，追求自己的那一部分。”

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