The motto of this story: If you really are sick, don’t come to work and spread your germs around the office. But if you just want to stay home, go with, “I’m running a fever,” rather than one of these ridiculous excuses.

1. I just put a casserole in the oven.

2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.

3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.

7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.

9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

10. I accidentally got on a plane.

Vocabulary

1.CareerBuilder: 凯业必达招聘网，是北美最大的招聘网站运营商，也是全球访问量最大的30家网站之一;call in sick: 请病假。

2.glue: v. 用胶水粘。

3.casino: 赌场。

4.casserole: 砂锅。

5.美国联邦法律不允许私营企业雇主给员工带薪病假，在世界最富有的国家中，唯独美国员工不享有此项权利。

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