They teased me about it for days afterwards, while all I could do was to complain about how unfair it was that I had to pay the full price for doing the exact same thing all of them had done without any noticeable consequences.

After about a week, I complained to my father about the inequity of the situation.

“I don’t think it’s unfair at all,” Dad said. “You took raspberries without asking, and you got exactly the punishment you deserved.”

“But what about the other guys?” I asked. “They didn’t get punished at all!”

“That’s not my concern, nor should it be yours,” Dad said. “You can’t control what happens to other people. You can only deal with what happens to you. You made a bad choice that night, and you were punished for it. To me, that is completely fair.”

Back then I thought Dad just didn’t get it. But through the years I come to realize that, as usual, he knew what he was talking about.

We didn’t come to earth with a guarantee that life would treat us fairly. And it doesn’t. That’s why we can’t get bogged down comparing the various vicissitudes of our lives with the lives of others.[10] Like Dad said, that isn’t our concern.

The only thing we can actually deal with is what happens to us. How we choose to respond to what happens to us is truly the standard by which the quality of our lives will be measured. Whether or not we think it happens fairly.

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