0-4分
第一篇:
Dear manager,
I am Li Ming. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy in your shop in february.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life. In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october. In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this circustances, I find it terrible to your work and upset me.
I appreciate it very much if you could refund me, preferably, as soon as possible, and I would like to have this matter setteled by three days.
Thank you for consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming.
修改意见:
Dear manager,
I am Li Ming.I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy(改为bought) in your shop in february(拼写错误,改为February).
The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life(不能理解你的意思). In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october(这是中式英语,应删除,此外月份要大写). In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this(改为these) circustances(拼写错误,改为circumstances), I find it terrible to your work and upset me.(用法错误,这个句型是I find it +adj+that/to do sth.)
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