"I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life," she continues. "You never know another person's intentions or what another person wants. ... I have had to cut so many people out of my life."

Spears also says she is "having to face a lot of things" as she raises her two young sons. "A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again," she writes. "It is like we are never good enough."

Explaining her recent behavior, she says: "I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce."

"I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or `Good Morning America,'" she says. "I am only human people and I love you for still loving me."

She closes by saying: "We will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him ... or her. Love, Britney."

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