Reader question: What's the difference between envy and jealousy?
My comments:
Being envious of someone may sound more innocuous than being jealous, but it's really not that much different. Both feelings are good to keep in control. And it's up to you.
First, definitions.
Envy refers to the feeling of wanting something that someone else has (Longman). To envy, therefore, is to wish that you had someone else's possessions, positions, good looks, talents and so forth.
Jealousy, on the other hand, is the feeling of anger and unhappiness (because you don't yet have what others have). In relationships, jealousy is the angry feeling that "someone you like or love is showing interest in another person, or another person is showing interest in them: She gets jealous if I even look at another woman" (Longman).
It's natural to be envious if we want something and then find someone having got it first. If we get that same thing soon enough, most of us will be able to keep our envies under control. If not, our feelings may begin to turn sinister. We begin to conjecture that they don't deserve their good fortunes, that we are every bit as good as them and that we are in fact more deserving that they are. I said conjecture, because we tend to lose our head when jealousy begins to take over.
It's a matter of degree. To cure jealousy, one may want to check envy first. Pay more attention to yourself. Build on yourself, so that you can and will have what others have, if not today, then tomorrow. With this inner confidence, you won't allow yourself to be consumed with envy. You may even begin to enjoy other people's possessions. A friend buys a car? Well, enjoy a ride in it.
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