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Golden Parachute

The financial crisis in America has put the golden parachute under renewed scrutiny.

Massive bailout plans by the United States to rescue troubled investment banks provides a golden opportunity to, among other more urgent things, examine the golden parachute, the thing that allows bank executives to jump from an airplane about to crash and land safely on the ground – and into a pool of cash.

Parachute, the umbrella-shaped apparatus that sky divers fall out of the sky with – otherwise, sky diving would not be fun, I assure you. Golden, because there's a lot of money involved.

OK, firm definitions first.

"Golden parachute" refers to clauses in a contract that allows corporate executives to cash out in a crisis, such as the financial crisis that currently grips America and Europe.

That's just how their contracts are negotiated and structured. There are specific clauses (golden parachutes) that stipulate that when "shit happens" – a euphemism for something inconvenient occurring – the company will pay its top executives a bonus package, including cash, stock options or both. This bonus package is otherwise known as a severance pay, similar to a divorce package.

Under normal circumstances, say, when a bank is bought out by another, the golden parachute clauses are understandable, seen as a reward for the CEO's previous contribution, such as it is.

I am a Chinese and I can understand these things. As a young employee, I once asked a superior why civil servants all seem to want to move up the ladder in a government office. "There's money and benefits", my superior replied perfunctorily, "houses and cars." And he asked me back: "Otherwise who wants to 'Serve the People'?"