We've been through a lot together and they shared in my joys and suffering during every home Chinese lesson. They've heard so much Putonghua, and probably speak better than me.
I couldn't just get rid of them? Or could I? It was such a hassle to move that damn tank and questions rose in my mind like the bubbles in my fish tank.
Do fish have souls? I kill cockroaches and mosquitoes so why are fish different? Is it because I can see their eyes? So does that mean only creatures with eyes have souls? Am I a bad person for even thinking of doing this?
I ate fish in a restaurant, and somebody killed them, so when I ordered the dish I played a part in dooming those fish. What makes my pets different?
But how do I do the deed? Drain the tank, then watch them flap to death? Flush them down the toilet? At least they'll have some kind of chance. The power of life or death was in my hands.
One thing was certain. I was thinking way too much thanks to industrial-quantities of coffee, the precursor to all my box-filling and junk-sorting operations.
And of course everybody needs a blazing soundtrack to speed along the moving process and I had chosen U2's classic album Joshua Tree.
As I contemplated their fate, With or Without You began to play.
"I can't live, with or without you," screamed Bono, and I realized my madness. How could I have contemplated such a heartless action? I was just being downright lazy.
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