Doing the job can improve my English level.It can also help me to communicate with others.It is a very good job.I will not let you disappointed.
Looking forward to your reply.
Yours truly,
Li Hua [名师点评]
本文的词数符合要求但是大量以“I”开头结构单调的句子让阅卷人提不起兴趣。
句子本身没有太大的问题但是给人的感觉就像是小孩在叙述一件事情缺少连贯性和逻辑性属于档次较低的作文。
除了需要提高句子的档次还需要一些过渡衔接词汇。例如我们可以分为几个方面用first/firstly等连接起来;递进时可以用besides等;总结时可以用in a /one wordn conclusion等。
[尝试优化]
I'm Li Hua,a student from Class 2,Grade 3.After reading your advertisement for
the position as a student volunteer,I want to offer myself to the position.
Firstly, because my spoken English is fluent,I think I am very suitable for this job.At the same time, I can improve my English as quickly as possible.
Secondly, being polite and friendly,I am easy to get along with and enjoy working together with others.What's more,I am good at communicating with others,which makes me feel confident about this position.
In a word,I'm sure I'll do a good job if I'm accepted.
【【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语(通用版)二轮复习书面表达专题训练:技法4 巧妙的过渡连贯的衔接(含解析)】相关文章:
★ 2017届高考英语二轮复习书面表达限时测验:6(含解析)
★ 【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语(通用版)二轮复习书面表达专题训练:训练2 书信、邮件+写人类记叙文(含解析)
★ 2017届高考英语二轮复习大题冲关秘籍语法填空:考纲解读(含解析)
★ 【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语(通用版)二轮复习完形填空专题训练:技法3 利用词语习惯搭配解题(含解析)
★ 【三维设计】2017版(江苏专用)二轮复习练习:选修8 Unit 4《Films and film events》单元检测(含解析)
★ 2017届高考英语二轮复习大题冲关秘籍完形填空之记叙文:体验真题(含解析)
★ 2017届高考英语二轮复习大题冲关秘籍完形填空之记叙文:名校模拟(含解析)
★ 2017届高考英语二轮复习大题冲关秘籍完形填空之记叙文:应试策略(含解析)
★ 【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语(通用版)二轮复习书面表达专题训练:技法7 画龙点睛的结束语(含解析)
最新
2017-04-24
2017-04-24
2017-04-24
2017-04-24
2017-04-21
2017-04-21