②在列举第二个理由时,作者用了一个长句,同时使用了because和so来连接分句,so应该去掉。
③文中有些语句的表述欠妥,建议做些改动,如"It is very expensive for us to have college education"等。
④文章仅从作者本身的角度进行了论述,也可以在文章结尾总结的时候适当阐述一下该政策对国家及公众的好处。
成稿:
I’m glad to hear the news that our government will help students study at some colleges for free if they are willing to teach in their hometowns for at least 10 years after graduation. I hope I can get such a chance to be a teacher.
Firstly, to be a teacher is my dream. When I was still a kid, I admired teachers very much, and I hoped I myself could be a teacher someday. Secondly, I think I can benefit a lot from this policy, because it means that I can get a free college education. My parents are both workers and it is hard for them to earn money, so I hope I can save some money for them. Thirdly, it will be a good chance for me to work for the people in my hometown. All in all, I hope I can come back to teach the children in my hometown and try to achieve my own goals as well. And I believe there will be more and more qualified teachers working in remote areas in the near future.
实例指导7---- My dream
【写作任务】
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