How to Help a Teenager Make Good Decisions

　　Habitually poor decision­making is actually common in teenagers. Naturally, such a habit makes parent­teen cooperation difficult, especially when a parent wants his teen to do what a “responsible adolescent” would do. A poor decision­making teenager can never run away from his responsibilities. __16__

　　•Distinguish real problems from acts of pure “teenagerism”. Teens often make poor decisions simply because they don't have the experiences. By making small and harmless mistakes, like a recently­developed habit of careless consuming, a teen learns good decision­making skills on his own via self­correction. __17__ Don't think the teen is making bad decisions just to challenge you. It's more likely it is out of a real inability to determine what's best for him.

　　•__18__ Tell your teen you understand his decisions while simply emphasizing that you don't have to agree with his decisions or treat his views as valid. By not judging his opinions, tastes

　　or style, you are opening the road to better communication and problem­solving opportunities.

　　•Set clear expectations.

　　__19__ For example, if your teen refuses to study for his math final because “math is pointless”， explain that you expect him to perform well in school, even in the “pointless” classes. Because you've already tolerated his opinion without trying to change his viewpoint, you two can easily agree that math isn't so useful, yet avoid saying “Let's just give up on math, then.”

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