How to Help a Teenager Make Good Decisions
Habitually poor decisionmaking is actually common in teenagers. Naturally, such a habit makes parentteen cooperation difficult, especially when a parent wants his teen to do what a “responsible adolescent” would do. A poor decisionmaking teenager can never run away from his responsibilities. __16__
•Distinguish real problems from acts of pure “teenagerism”. Teens often make poor decisions simply because they don't have the experiences. By making small and harmless mistakes, like a recentlydeveloped habit of careless consuming, a teen learns good decisionmaking skills on his own via selfcorrection. __17__ Don't think the teen is making bad decisions just to challenge you. It's more likely it is out of a real inability to determine what's best for him.
•__18__ Tell your teen you understand his decisions while simply emphasizing that you don't have to agree with his decisions or treat his views as valid. By not judging his opinions, tastes
or style, you are opening the road to better communication and problemsolving opportunities.
•Set clear expectations.
__19__ For example, if your teen refuses to study for his math final because “math is pointless”, explain that you expect him to perform well in school, even in the “pointless” classes. Because you've already tolerated his opinion without trying to change his viewpoint, you two can easily agree that math isn't so useful, yet avoid saying “Let's just give up on math, then.”
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