Most people don't make these choices consciously (意识到地) though. You might consciously decide to spend more time with a certain friend, or you may ask someone out on a date to begin a new relationship. But few people choose their existing friendships deliberately.
There's_no_“getting_rid_of_people”. People are always dropping into and out of each other's lives. Associations grow into friendships, and friendships fade into associations. You don't get rid of anyone. The truth is that in order to make room for new people and new experiences, you may need to loosen up some of your existing connections.
What about loyalty (忠诚)?
Shouldn't you always be loyal to your friends? Once you have a close friend, even if his influence on you is slightly harmful, shouldn't you stick by him?
Loyalty to a friend sometimes means having to let go. It means being loyal to his highest and best self as well. If someone is destroying his health by smoking, for example, you aren't showing loyalty by smoking right along with him. True loyalty sometimes requires that you break damaging connections, get yourself back on solid ground, and then decide what you can really do to help your friend.
It can take a lot of courage to tell someone,“I'm sorry, but I can't have you in my life anymore.” But even though this might seem like a selfish act at times, it's often the best thing for the other person too. If a relationship is holding you back in some way, understand that it's also hurting the other person. For example, if you work for a violent boss, your acceptance of that situation is considered to be silent approval, encouraging your boss to continue to behave violently.
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