C. Free Samples:
Man: Good morning, love.
Woman: Morning.
Man: Sleep well? I’ve made some tea; there you are.
Woman: Thanks. Any post?
Man: Not really. There’s a postcard from Aunt Lil and there’s a questionnaire to fill in from the company which gave us the free samples of tinned meat to try out for them.
Woman: They’ve got a nerve!
Man: But we did say we’d return the questionnaire when we took the samples.
Woman: What do they want to know?
Man: If we like it.
Woman: If we liked it? Are they joking? You’re not filling it in now, are you? What for?
Man: We did promise and if I do it now I can post it on my way to work.
Woman: Well, write ‘we didn’t like it.’
Man: I’ll put ‘not much.’ That sounds nicer. Then it says ‘If not, why?’
Woman: No flavour. Too much fat.
Man: ‘How did you cook it?’ is next.
Woman: Fried it like they said, didn’t I? Took a mouthful and gave it to the cat.
Man: ‘Guests’ comments, if any’!
Woman: The cat became ill. Poor thing, her fur went all green.
Man: ‘Did guests ask for the brand name?’
Woman: Tell them that our cat can’t speak.
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