Who's in control of your life? Who's pulling your strings? For the majority of us, it's other people—society, colleagues, friends, family or our religious community. We learned this way of operating when we were very young, of course. We were brainwashed. We discovered that feeling

　　important and feeling accepted was a nice experience and so we learned to do everything we could to make other people like us. As Oscar Wilde puts it, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

　　So when people tell us how wonderful we are, it makes us feel good. We long for this good feeling like a drug—we are addicted to it and seek it out wherever we can. Therefore, we are so eager for the approval(赞同) of others that we live unhappy and limited lives, failing to do the things we really want to. Just as drug addicts and alcoholics live worsened lives to keep getting their fix(一剂毒品), we worsen our own existence to get our own constant fix of approval.

　　But, just as with any drug, there is a price to pay. The price of the approval drug is freedom—the freedom to be ourselves. The truth is that we cannot control what other people think. People have their own agenda, and they come with their own baggage and, in the end, they're more interested in themselves than in you. Furthermore, if we try to live by the opinions of others, we will build

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