One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her

　　story people often interrupted to tell her that they once had

　　something just like that happening to them.Her pain became

　　a story about themselves.Eventually she stopped talking to most people.We connect through listening.When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand，we move the focus of attention to ourselves.When we listen，they know we care.

　　I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening.In the old days I used to reach for the handkerchiefs，until I realized that passing a person a handkerchief

　　may be just another way to shut him down，to take them out of their experience of sadness.Now I just listen.When they have cried all they need to cry，they find me there with them.

　　This simple thing has not been that easy to learn.It certainly went against everything I had been taught since I was very young.I thought people listened only because they were

　　too shy to speak or did not know the answer.But now I know

　　that a loving silence often has far more power to heal than the

　　kindest words.

　　71．What does the author value most in the communication with each other?

　　A．Deep understanding .

　　B．Saying “I’m sorry”．

　　C．Attention from heart.

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