2. 文章存在的问题:
①部分表达词句过于随意,没有经过认真的思考和组织,甚至是按照汉语的表达习惯来安排句子结构的,例如:We will be provided not only with enough food and clothing, but also more convenience of traveling and living.第二个分句中缺少介词with,句子显得就不对称,也不完整。再如,在... we will have less stress both from our study and from work, because we can work and study in a more efficient way. 一句中,both ... and ... 就不如用either ... or ...表达得更准确。
②文章的思想性不强,或者说思想格调比较低。特别是文章的结尾,谈到未来生活的打算和建议时,仅仅满足于个人的利益,如:develop more skills and earn more money以及enjoy a more interesting and colorful life even when we are old.等显得作者思想很狭隘,没有达到一定的思想境界。
成稿:
Hello, everyone! I am glad to be able to give a talk about the future life and study here. Thanks to the great development in science and technology, we are sure to live a happier and more wonderful life in the future. Not only will we be provided with enough food and clothing, we can also spend more time traveling around the world and enjoying other amusements. It will make our spare time more interesting and colorful. Furthermore, we will have less stress either from our study or from the work 实例指导3—一千年之后
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