This latter approach is basically the work I and my team do at the University of Hull. We measure mental toughness and then provide interventions to improve this. These interventions include psychological skills such as goal setting, relaxation and thought control. So, for example, many children will say: “What happens if it goes wrong?” We work hard to change this so that the sentence reads: “What happens if it goes right?” One word difference, but a world away when thinking about challenges.

　　We try to help children deal more effectively with life using a three-step approach. Firstly, it is important to set realistic and achievable goals. Then it is a matter of finding out what factors (因素) are helping children to achieve these goals and what factors are working against this. The final step is to discover which of these factors can be controlled, or at least influenced, and what factors the child is in reality stuck with. Redirecting children’s energies to movable obstacles (障碍) can produce huge life changes.

　　However, I think that for most of us we have become stress averse (反对的) and overreact to it. It has always been there, and it has always been the case that some people enjoy it, some need help to deal with it and some people’s lives are ruined by it.

　　Showing our children that stress can be faced with and beaten offers them a way forward. The more a fear is avoided, the bigger it gets.

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