Choosing one’s friends is an important part of growing up. And although you can’t choose your children’s friends, you can have a positive influence on the relationships they make throughout their formative years. Use the following strategies to help your children to build positive relationships with their friends.

　　● Encourage diversity.

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　　In addition to exposing your kids to more diversity, it will also help them learn more about themselves.

　　● Avoid criticism. Avoid criticizing friendships, but be honest with your kids when you’re concerned.

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　　This may make them defensive and less receptive to what you have to say. Do be open and willing to listen to what they have to say, and talk about what makes you nervous.

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　　If you feel that one of your child’s friends is having a negative influence on him, invite that friend to spend time with you and your child together so that you can have a positive influence on the relationship.

　　● Engage in community service. Engage your family in service and volunteering (or join a social group) through a local church, school, or other nonprofit organization.

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　　When talking about a friend who has a negative influence on your child, focus your comments on that friend’s behaviors, not on her personality. For example, instead of calling your child’s friend irresponsible for smoking, you could point out that the behavior has a negative effect on her health and recommend ways for your child to help her quit.

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