③句中动词做主语应该用-ing形式，可以改为But wasting water is becoming a serious problem。

　　4句中lack用作动词时，句子应为A lot of people in the world lack water.

　　5句中too 改为 either。

　　[升格范文]

　　Here comes a picture: a boy, who is washing his clothes, listens to the music with two taps running. What shocks us is that just on the wall, an obvious sign says: please save water. However, the water still keeps running.

　　This is not an unusual phenomenon. We can see it in our daily life. With the rapid development of our society, people’s life is getting better and better. However, the extravagant life style is becoming a serious problem. Many people don’t realize the lack of water, and some even don't know that in many places of the world, water is rare. What’s worse, without considering the pollution of water, some factories pour dirty water into the river, causing the shortage of fresh water.

　　As a student, it is time we took useful measures to save our limited fresh water. Without water, there would be no life. Don’t make it come true that the last drop of water is our tear.

　　[范文点评]

　　1、本文照描述图片、分析现象、提出措施的步骤来写，显得结构严谨、条理清晰。

　　2、本文的一大亮点是：句式变化多端不单一，高级句式层出，比如：

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