Studies have shown the following：

　　Although stressful，conflict is beneficial for children.

　　Learning to manage conflict is necessary for a child’s development.

　　Conflicts during the preschool years occur because children desire more attention than parents can or should give.

　　If you understand why conflict occurs，it can minimize the conflicts between you and your children.Conflict is a child’s attempt to develop a sense of self and how he or she learns to express his or her needs and ideas.Parents develop and drive this independence by putting children to the outside world both formally and informally.

　　Conflict can grow out of different opinions or might just be a way to blow off steam (发脾气)．In rare situations，constant conflict between parents and children can indicate a deeper emotional problem.Consult your doctor if this seems to be your situation.

　　It’s important to offer your child choices，which should be determined by age and developmental level.The more responsible a child is，the more choices he or she gets in reward.You can threaten your child with punishment，but often offering a choice will better improve angry situations.Consequences and rewards should have some meaning to your child.

　　Often a child’s adverse(敌对的) reaction when he or she hears the word “no” can be avoided by giving the child an explanation as to why you have refused his or her request.

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