00:00:02,270　　知道了吧 你吃的这个 不算是真的酸奶酪　　so you see what you eating is not technically yogurt,　　2　　00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,910　　因为里面没有足够的 活的嗜酸培养菌　　because it doesn't have enough live acidophilus cultures.　　3　　00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,420　　只不过是冰牛奶里加了点 角叉胶 增加粘稠度　　It's really just ice milk with carrageenan added for thickness.　　4　　00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:10,530　　喔 真有意思哈　　Oh,that's very interesting.　　5　　00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:13,530　　它也不真是粉红色 也没有天然浆果粒　　It's also not pink and has no berries.　　6　　00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,010　　嗯 可这也没有回答我的问题呐　　Yeah,but it doesn't really answer my question.　　7　　00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:18,550　　你问的啥问题?　　What was your question again?　　8　　00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,730　　你要来点儿不?　　Do you want some?　　9　　00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:22,700　　对对 不用了　　Right. No.　　10　　00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:24,060　　- 我受不了乳糖的 - 对哦　　- I'm lactose intolerant. - Right.　　11　　00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:26,550　　- 吃了会放屁的 - 好吧 明白了　　- So,gas. - Yeah,got it.　　12　　00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:30,390　　那么... 晚安了　　Well... good night.　　13　　00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:45,540　　你这是做什么呢?　　What are you doing?　　14　　00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:48,210　　哦 那边有阵风　　Oh,there's a draft.　　15　　00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,620　　我没觉得有风啊　　I didn't feel a draft.　　16　　00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:53,770　　那我们还是去... 你的...　　Why don't we just go into,uh,your...　　17　　00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:56,670　　我说 也许我们不该那么着急　　Yeah,you know what,maybe we should slow things down a little.　　18　　00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,520　　不 我不是说要去你公寓 去急着干嘛干嘛　　No,no,I didn't mean to go into your apartment to go fast.　　19　　00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:01,540　　当然了 我知道　　No,I know.　　20　　00:01:01,550 --> 00:01:04,440　　我知道你不是那意思 只是... 这才是咱俩第一次约会　　I know what you meant,it's just... this is only our first date.　　21　　00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:05,840　　嗯 好啊 没问题　　Yeah,okay,sure,no problem.　　22　　00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:10,710　　那我们就先想想 下次要去哪儿 准备啥时候到那儿　　Why don't we just figure out where we're going and when we want to get there,　　23　　00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:15,490　　这样距离除以时间 就知道速度了呗　　and then rate of speed equals distance over time.　　24　　00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,520　　问题解决　　Solve for R.　　25　　00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:22,080　　我们也可以到时候再想嘛　　Or we could just wing it.　　26　　00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:24,720　　那没准也行　　That might work,too.　　27　　00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:26,820　　- 晚安 莱纳德- 晚安　　- Good night,Leonard. - Good night.　　28　　00:01:31,770 --> 00:01:34,090　　他来了 快上屏保!　　He's coming-- screensaver!　　29　　00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:42,220　　嘿 莱纳德约会怎么样哇?　　Oh,hey,Leonard. How was your date?　　30　　00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:44,290　　要你管　　Bite me.　　31　　00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:48,870　　谢尔顿 你怎么能傻坐着 眼睁睁看他们监视我呢?　　Sheldon,how could you just sit there and let them spy on me?　　32　　00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:49,880　　他们油菜啊 莱纳德　　They were clever,Leonard.　　33　　00:01:49,890 --> 00:01:54,450　　他们完全明白 我对你那些破事儿 一点兴趣没有　　They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing.　　34　　00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,070　　你还该谢谢我们呢　　You should thank us.　　35　　00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,800　　要是后来人想弄明白 你和佩妮的恋情为啥会土崩瓦解　　When future generations try to determine why your relationship with Penny crashed and burned,　　36　　00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:04,100　　这玩意儿就是黑匣子呐!　　this right here is the black box.　　37　　00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,750　　你胡说什么 约会挺好的　　What are you talking about? The date went fine.　　38　　00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,760　　拜托 她都说了 想要慢慢来　　Dude,she said she wants to slow things down.　　39　　00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,880　　好吧 她是说了 想要慢慢来　　Okay,so she said she wants to slow things down.　　40　　00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:15,850　　意思差不多就是 "今天的晚餐我非常喜欢　　It's like saying,"I'm really enjoying this meal.　　41　　00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:18,230　　我得慢慢来 好好回味一下"　　I'm going to slow down and savor it."　　42　　00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,600　　才怪 她的意思是 "这鱼真难吃死了　　No,it's like,"This fish tastes bad,　　43　　00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:26,850　　我得慢慢来 吐光了它"　　so I'm gonna slow down and spit it out."　　44　　00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:30,010　　- 这臭鱼说的就是你! - 我才不是这臭鱼呢　　- You being the fish. - I'm not the fish.　　45　　00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:32,250　　真的? 你俩定了下一次约会吗?　　Oh,really? Did you make a second date?　　46　　00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:34,150　　这倒没有... 我们说好了 到时候再想　　Well,no,we sort of decided to wing it.　　47　　00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,270　　得了吧 连我都觉得这太逊了　　Oh,even I know that's lame.　　48　　00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,490　　行啊 咱就说说你的假设　　Okay,all right,let's assume your hypothesis.　　49　　00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:43,960　　我们一起去吃饭 有说有笑 有吻有抱　　We went to dinner,we talked,we laughed,we kissed.　　50　　00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:45,820　　这还能错到哪儿去啊?　　Where could I have possibly gone wrong?　　51　　00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,010　　你好好想想 莱纳德　　Think back,Leonard.　　52　　00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,140　　再小的事情都能让女人爆发　　The littlest things can set women off.　　53　　00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:54,020　　比方说 "嘿 这服务生真辣 我打赌 肯定能让她跟咱回家"　　Like,"Hey,the waitress is hot,I bet we could get her to come home with us."　　54　　00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:55,840　　或者 "你妈妈有多重呐?　　Or,"How much does your mom weigh?　　55　　00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:58,230　　我想知道我搭上的是啥样的妞儿"　　I want to know what I'm getting into."　　56　　00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,650　　这种话我才不会说　　I didn't say anything like that.　　57　　00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:02,540　　很好 因为这么说不管用　　Good,'cause they don't work.　　58　　00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,260　　她们也不关心 你是不是盯着她们 呼吸加速　　They also don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate.　　59　　00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,330　　挺惨的 在我们家 这就像是家族传统　　Sadly,that's my home run swing.　　60　　00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:10,640　　我说 一切都挺好的　　Look,everything went fine.　　61　　00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:14,940　　连事先准备的一些开场白都没用到呢　　I didn't even have to refer to my impromptu conversation starters.　　62　　00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:17,790　　走廊对面那个女孩 就是喜欢我嘛　　That woman across the hall is into me.　　63　　00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,610　　咱还是看带子吧　　Let's go to the tape.　　64　　00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:23,710　　你瞧她临别一吻的时候 那反应　　Look at her reaction to the good night kiss.　　65　　00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,230　　呼吸平稳 瞳孔没有放大 胸口也没啥起伏　　No change in respiration,pupils un-dilated,no flushing of the chest.　　66　　00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,150　　这特写镜头拍的真赞　　Nice close-up,by the way.　　67　　00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:33,810　　有意思嘿 她的下巴很紧 也没有用舌头　　Interesting. Her jaws are clenched: no tongue access.　　68　　00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:37,610　　对于寻偶期的人类来说 这可不是啥好消息　　Clearly a bad sign amongst mating humans.　　69　　00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,250　　这怎么就不是好消息了　　That's not a bad sign.　　70　　00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:43,540　　得了吧 还不如说你们是两只鬣蜥 只是喉部没有垂肉罢了　　Please,you might as well have been two iguana with no dewlap enlargement.　　71　　00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,780　　最糟的就是 这会儿你不在她家 而在这里!　　And the worst sign of all is you're here and not there.　　72　　00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:50,940　　我不在她家 因为我也决定慢慢来 这个...　　I'm not there because I'm taking things slow,which,　　73　　00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:55,050　　跟你们比起来 都快接近星际速度了　　by the way,compared to you guys,approaches warp speed.　　74　　00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,490　　快把摄像头给我撤了　　And take down that camera.　　75　　00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,820　　他心里没牵没挂的时候 真有意思多了　　He was a lot more fun when he had no hope.　　76　　00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,200　　给他点时间吧　　Give him time.　　77　　00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:43,480　　你好啊 佩妮　　Oh,hi,Penny.　　78　　00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:47,550　　顺便说句 2号机器的热水不足 别深色浅色混着洗　　FYI,the hot water is inadequate on machine two,so colors only,　　79　　00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,460　　4号机器呢 洗衣程序中 还是会提前放出织物柔顺剂　　and four is still releasing the fabric softener too early in the cycle,　　80　　00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,230　　所以你那些精致的衣服 还是别用那台了　　so I'd avoid using that for your delicates.　　81　　00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,220　　谢了　　Thanks.　　82　　00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,200　　老天爷啊...　　Oh,good Lord...　　83　　00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:01,820　　你还不如把衣服拿到河边 搁在石头上猛捶一阵　　why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock?　　84　　00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:09,740　　谢尔顿 我问你个问题行不?　　Sheldon,can I ask you a question?　　85　　00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:14,210　　我当然最好你别问 不过也不会阻止你　　I would prefer that you not,but I won't go so far as to forbid it.　　86　　00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:17,270　　那... 我就当你同意了...　　All right,I heard yes,so...　　87　　00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,070　　我想问问你　　Okay,here's my question.　　88　　00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:24,190　　莱纳德以前有没有 跟正常的女孩子约会过?　　Has Leonard ever dated,you know,a regular girl?　　89　　00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,570　　我想你指的 应该不是消化功能正常吧　　Well,I assume you're not referring to digestive regularity.　　90　　00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:32,810　　要是那样的话 我想这问题问的不合适　　Because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate.　　91　　00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:38,760　　我是说 他有没有跟 没那么大学问的女孩子谈过?　　No,I meant,has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?　　92　　00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:45,170　　话说几年前 他确实跟一个 学法国文学的女博士有过一段儿　　Well,a few years ago,he did go out with a woman who had a PhD in French literature.　　93　　00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:48,180　　这还不算有大学问?　　How is that not a brainiac?　　94　　00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:51,250　　理由一 她是法国人　　Well,for one thing,she was French.　　95　　00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:55,700　　理由二 她读的是文学　　For another,it was literature.　　96　　00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:03,220　　那你觉得...　　So...　　97　　00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:09,000　　如果我和莱纳德继续好下去 他会不会有一天觉得我很没劲啊?　　do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating,he'll eventually get bored with me?　　98　　00:06:14,980 --> 00:06:17,500　　- 那得看情况 - 什么情况?　　- That depends. - On what?　　99　　00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:21,160　　- 你懂量子物理吗? - 不懂　　- Do you have a working knowledge of quantum physics? - No.　　100　　00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:25,030　　- 你会说克林贡语(《星际迷航》影片中的外星语)吗? - 不会　　- Do you speak Klingon? - No.　　101　　00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:28,200　　- 你会耍牌吗? - 行了 我说...　　- You know any card tricks? - Okay,you know what...　　102　　00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:31,350　　我明白了　　I get it.　　103　　00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,840　　莱纳德和一个服务员兼二流演员 没有共同语言　　Leonard has no business being involved with a waitress-slash-actress　　104　　00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:39,490　　而且她还骗他说 上完了社区大学 心里正发慌呢　　who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college.　　105　　00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,070　　你为什么撒谎?　　Why would you lie about that?　　106　　00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,200　　他总是在说这大学怎样 那个研究生院怎么样 我就...　　Well,he was going on and on about this college and that grad school,and I...　　107　　00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:47,740　　我不想让他觉得我很傻很衰嘛　　I didn't want him to think I was some kind of stupid loser.　　108　　00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:52,530　　你觉得"很傻很衰"的反义词 是"社区大学毕业生"?　　You thought the opposite of "stupid loser" was "community college graduate"?　　109　　00:06:56,780 --> 00:07:01,480　　很多成功人士 都是从社区大学毕业的　　You know,there are a lot of successful people in this country who are community college graduates.　　110　　00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:04,010　　没错 可你哪个都挨不上边　　Yeah,but you are neither.　　111　　00:07:05,630 --> 00:07:08,030　　对 好吧 你得替我保密　　Right. Okay,look,this is between you and me.　　112　　00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,560　　啥也不要告诉莱纳德　　You cannot tell Leonard any of this.　　113　　00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,290　　- 你要我保守秘密? - 是的　　- You're asking me to keep a secret? - Yeah.　　114　　00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:19,930　　那真对不起了 你应该在说出秘密前 表达出要我保密的意思　　Well,I'm sorry,but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret,　　115　　00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:24,260　　我好选择 到底要不要替你保密　　so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret keeping.　　116　　00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,300　　你事后再说 这怎么行呢　　You can't impose a secret on an ex post facto basis.　　117　　00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,250　　什么?　　What?　　118　　00:07:31,260 --> 00:07:33,670　　保守秘密是一项艰巨复杂的任务　　Secret keeping is a complicated endeavor.　　119　　00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,130　　不但要注意说的话　　One has to be concerned not only about what one says,　　120　　00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:39,310　　还得注意面部表情 习惯性反应　　but about facial expressions,autonomic reflexes.　　121　　00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:45,620　　我说谎的时候 因为紧张产生的壁虱(tick) 比莱姆关节炎研究设备产生的还多　　When I try to deceive,I myself have more nervous tics than a Lyme disease research facility.　　122　　00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:52,240　　这是笑话啊　　It's a joke.　　123　　00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,480　　同音词嘛 "tick"是指　　It relies on the homonymic relationship between "tick,"　　124　　00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:59,440　　吸血寄生虫（壁虱） 而"tic"是无意识的肌肉痉挛　　the bloodsucking arachnid,and "tic," the involuntary muscular contraction.　　125　　00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,730　　我自己编的　　I made it up myself.　　126　　00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:12,290　　听着 如果莱纳德发现我说谎 我一定羞愧自尽了　　Okay,look,if Leonard finds out that I lied,I will absolutely die of embarrassment.　　127　　00:08:12,310 --> 00:08:13,510　　生理学上讲是不可能的　　Physiologically impossible.　　128　　00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,360　　哦 谢尔顿 拜托　　Oh,Sheldon,please.　　129　　00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:18,750　　我是以朋友的名义请求你　　Look,I am asking you as a friend.　　130　　00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:23,810　　照你这么说 朋友就要无条件的保守秘密?　　So you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences?　　131　　00:08:23,830 --> 00:08:25,510　　是啊　　Well,yeah.　　132　　00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,880　　有意思　　Interesting.　　133　　00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:30,680　　再一个问题 或许应该这样问　　One more question,and perhaps I should have led with this.　　134　　00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:33,390　　我们什么时候成朋友了?　　When did we become friends?　　135　　00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:39,300　　也就是说 要不被总部守护先知选中 我就成不了绿灯侠(漫画人物)　　i.e.,I couldn't become Green Lantern unless I was chosen by the Guardians of Oa,　　136　　00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:44,480　　但如果给我足够的启动资金和 足够的科研设备 我就能成为蝙蝠侠　　but given enough start-up capital and an adequate research facility,I could be Batman.　　137　　00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,500　　- 你能成为蝙蝠侠? - 当然 我就是蝙蝠侠 看见没?　　- You could be Batman? - Sure. I'm Batman. See?　　138　　00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,470　　- 嗨 伙计们 - 嗨 佩妮　　- Hi,guys. - Hi,Penny.　　139　　00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:02,570　　佩妮 你周五晚上有空的话 我们去看电影吧　　Penny,if you're not doing anything Friday night,I thought maybe we could go see a movie.　　140　　00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:05,550　　呃 我周五晚上要轮班　　Oh,um,you know,I think I have the dinner shift on Friday.　　141　　00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,190　　好吧 周六呢?　　Okay,what about Saturday?　　142　　00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,340　　说不准 经理还没公布排班表呢　　You know,I'm not sure; the manager hasn't posted the schedule yet.　　143　　00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,470　　- 出来了 我再告诉你? - 很好　　- How about I let you know? - Great.　　144　　00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,450　　那你知道了就告诉我 好的 那...　　So you just let me know when you know. Okay,so...　　145　　00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:18,500　　天呐 我就是那条臭鱼　　Oh,God,I am the bad fish.　　146　　00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,710　　我哪做错了?　　What did I do wrong?　　147　　00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,850　　你为什么问我?　　Why are you asking me?　　148　　00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:27,190　　你和佩妮的事儿 除了你已经告诉我的 我啥也不知道　　I have no information about your interactions with Penny other than what you have provided me,　　149　　00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,600　　我也没有本事学到　　nor do I have any method of learning such things.　　150　　00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,690　　- 这话什么意思? - 没什么　　- What does that mean? - Nothing.　　151　　00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,100　　你说的倒像是 我和佩妮背地里通了气　　You seem to be implying an informational back-channel　　152　　00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,420　　很明显 这是没有的事　　between me and Penny where obviously none exists.　　153　　00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:40,460　　没 我没觉得　　No,I didn't.　　154　　00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:44,220　　我想你要注意你的表达了 先生　　I just think you need to be careful how you phrase things,sir.　　155　　00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,150　　你怎么回事?　　What's going on with you?　　156　　00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,080　　这问题我也得问问你吧　　I might ask you the same question.　　157　　00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:54,000　　那些跟我无关的事儿 你何必非要把我扯进去?　　Why do you insist on attempting to drag me into matters which have nothing to do with me,　　158　　00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:58,130　　都是你和佩妮之间的事 我跟她连话都不怎么说的　　but exist between you and Penny,a person to whom I barely speak?　　159　　00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:08,480　　你脸怎么了?　　What's wrong with your face?　　160　　00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:11,780　　我脸这样 没啥原因　　There's no reason to bring my looks into this.　　161　　00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:15,260　　- 祝你今天过的愉快 莱纳德- 什么?　　- Good day,Leonard. - What　　162　　00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,530　　我说 "祝你今天过的愉快"　　I said,"Good day."　　163　　00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,450　　过的愉快?　　Good day?　　164　　00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,200　　今天还为您供应 新鲜的阿拉斯加大马哈鱼　　Also today,we have a fresh-caught Alaska salmon,　　165　　00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:28,800　　配上烧汁和糯米饭　　and that's served with a teriyaki glaze and sticky rice.　　166　　00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:29,570　　今天的汤是...　　Our soup of the day is...　　167　　00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:32,370　　你必须将我从我的誓言中解放出来　　You must release me from my oath.　　168　　00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,240　　谢尔顿 我在工作　　Sheldon,I'm working.　　169　　00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,140　　你们花几分钟决定一下吧　　Why don't you take a minute to decide?　　170　　00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,100　　我不能保守你的秘密了 佩妮　　I can't keep your secret,Penny.　　171　　00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:47,760　　我就像构象空间里 基于能量的内源蛋白 要折叠起来了 (fold 也有失败的意思)　　I'm going to fold like an energy-based de novo protein in conformational space.　　172　　00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:50,880　　就像是文艺复兴时期的三联画 (教堂祭坛上的饰物 两翼可向内折叠)　　Like a Renaissance tryptich.　　173　　00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:52,820　　还有廉价的西装　　Like a cheap suit.　　174　　00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:56,050　　你保守个小秘密 咋就这么难呢?　　Look,why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret?　　175　　00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,130　　我天生就保守不住!　　I'm constitutionally incapable.　　176　　00:10:58,140 --> 00:11:02,010　　所以我上次申请那项高端政府研究奖学金 证明开不出来　　That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship　　177　　00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:05,380　　项目里的超级对撞机 位于密歇根州 特拉弗斯城东南12.5英里的　　at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station　　178　　00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:08,950　　一个空设的农学院地下　　12.5 miles southeast of Traverse City,Michigan.　　179　　00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:16,580　　我没告诉过你啊　　Which you did not hear about from me.　　180　　00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:20,320　　你就别老记着我说过...　　Look,just forget I told you about me...　　181　　00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:22,610　　社区大学没毕业 好吗?　　not graduating from community college,okay?　　182　　00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:24,220　　别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?　　Forget? You want me to forget?　　183　　00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,700　　我这脑子 啥东西忘得掉啊!　　This mind does not forget.　　184　　00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:31,050　　从我妈给我断奶后 我就没忘掉过一件事　　I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.　　185　　00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:34,410　　- 那天是周二 下着毛毛雨 - 好了...　　- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...　　186　　00:11:34,870 --> 00:11:36,980　　你答应过我要保守秘密　　Look,you promised me you would keep my secret,　　187　　00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:40,260　　那你就想个办法别漏嘴　　so you're just gonna have to figure out a way to do it.　　188　　00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:43,720　　莱纳德我要搬出去　　Leonard,I'm moving out.　　189　　00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,770　　什么叫"要搬出去"? 为什么?　　What do you mean you're moving out? Why?　　190　　00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:50,690　　不一定非要有理由嘛　　There doesn't have to be a reason.　　191　　00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,550　　是啊 总该有吧　　Yeah,there kinda does.　　192　　00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:54,790　　不一定非得有　　Not necessarily.　　193　　00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,670　　这是Munchausen三难推理的典型例子　　This is a classic example of Munchausen's Trilemma.　　194　　00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:01,880　　要么就是 这个前提通过一系列 不断弱化的次前提 已经得到阐述　　Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression,　　195　　00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,260　　要么就是 能从所谓偶然的公理陈述中 找到答案　　or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements,　　196　　00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:05,700　　也有可能是终极循环　　or it's ultimately circular,　　197　　00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:08,910　　也就是说 因为我要搬出去 所以我要搬出去　　i.e.I'm moving out because I'm moving out.　　198　　00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,260　　我还是不懂　　I'm still confused.　　199　　00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,620　　莱纳德我已经说得够明白的了　　Leonard,I don't see how I could have made it any simpler.　　200　　00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:19,720　　嘿 伙计们 还好吗?(蹩脚法语)　　Hey,qu'est que s'up?　　201　　00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:22,820　　我们刚去看了塑化人体标本展　　We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized human cadavers.　　202　　00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,050　　那些个没皮的小妞儿 真是辣哟!　　And some of those skinless chicks were Hot!　　203　　00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:30,870　　抱歉 我得去收拾了　　If you'll excuse me,I'm going to pack.　　204　　00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,930　　他对我单纯的恋尸癖 反应还真大　　That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.　　205　　00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,350　　霍华德 不关你事 他说他要搬出去　　It's not you,Howard. He says he's moving out.　　206　　00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,240　　你对他干了啥?　　What did you do?　　207　　00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:45,870　　你改了电视机的对比度和亮度?　　Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?　　208　　00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:46,470　　没啊　　No.　　209　　00:12:46,490 --> 00:12:49,200　　你在他面前扒了创可贴?　　Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?　　210　　00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:50,180　　没　　No.　　211　　00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:52,700　　你买了三无番茄酱? 忘了洗水池?　　Did you buy generic ketchup,forget to rinse the sink,　　212　　00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:55,680　　还是隔着厕所门同他讲话?　　talk to him through the bathroom door?　　213　　00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:59,800　　调了恒温器? 煮菜放了芫荽叶? "t"那音总是忘了发?　　Adjust the thermostat,cook with cilantro,pronounce the "t" in often?　　214　　00:13:01,730 --> 00:13:03,300　　没有　　No.　　215　　00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:07,140　　你是不是拿火车开玩笑了?　　Did you make fun of trains?　　216　　00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,370　　没有 我啥都没干 他疯了　　No,I didn't do anything. He's just gone insane.　　217　　00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:14,430　　也是 这天迟早会来的　　Well,we all knew this day was coming.　　218　　00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,730　　你动作还真快　　Well,that was fast.　　219　　00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:20,830　　这是我早准备好的避难行囊　　It's my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag.　　220　　00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:24,970　　国土安全部推荐的　　It's recommended by the Department of Homeland Security.　　221　　00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:27,360　　还有莎拉·康纳 ("终结者"女主人公)　　And Sarah Connor.　　222　　00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,810　　你打算住哪儿?　　Where are you going to live?　　223　　00:13:29,820 --> 00:13:32,700　　在我找到寓所之前 我先在朋友家挤挤　　Until I find a permanent place,I will stay with friends.　　224　　00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:34,970　　回见　　Bye.　　225　　00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:39,190　　呃... 你不能住我那儿　　Well... you can't stay with me.　　226　　00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,090　　我的公寓小得可怜　　I have a teeny-tiny apartment.　　227　　00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:45,460　　广纳宾客不正是"向人致敬"的一部分吗?　　Excuse me,but isn't hosting guests an aspect of "manushya yajna,"　　228　　00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:50,550　　"向人致敬"不是印度五大宗教戒规之一吗?　　one of the five central religious duties or sacrifices of the Hindu householder?　　229　　00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:56,550　　我讨厌火车　　I hate trains.　　230　　00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:05,130　　别开玩笑了 你可喜欢火车了　　Don't be ridiculous,you love trains.　　231　　00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:08,040　　啊 没错 来吧　　Yes,I do. Come on.　　232　　00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,140　　回见 莱纳德　　See you later,Leonard.　　233　　00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:20,330　　还真管用　　This could work.　　234　　00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,310　　这栋楼有年头了　　This is a very old building.　　235　　00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:34,450　　造了六十年了 以前是手表厂　　60 years. It used to be a watch factory.　　236　　00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:36,210　　怎么了?　　What?　　237　　00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:40,570　　你不担心残留在发光表盘里的镭吗?　　Don't you worry about the residual radium from the luminous dials?　　238　　00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,590　　你干嘛要提!　　Not until now!　　239　　00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:47,180　　我竟然没带盖格计数器 (用于测量放射性物质)　　I can't believe I didn't bring my Geiger counter.　　240　　00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:50,360　　就在床头 我居然没拿　　I had it on my bed and I didn't pack it.　　241　　00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:51,950　　那么... 谢尔顿 要是你觉得住着不舒服　　Well,if you're not comfortable staying here,Sheldon...　　242　　00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,670　　我开玩笑的 我带来了　　I'm kidding,I packed it.　　243　　00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:56,120　　是个笑话　　It was a joke.　　244　　00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:59,070　　我就是要破坏你的语境期待　　I was subverting the conversational expectations.　　245　　00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:03,050　　那叫啥来着 "出其不意"　　I believe they call that the,uh,ol' switcharoo.　　246　　00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,480　　好极了　　Terrific.　　247　　00:15:09,370 --> 00:15:11,330　　那女的是艾维雅·瑞儿（印度当红影星）吗?　　Is that woman Aishwarya Rai?　　248　　00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:13,120　　是的 她是个很棒的演员吧　　Yes,isn't she an amazing actress?　　249　　00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:16,730　　我倒觉得她是可怜虫心中的玛杜瑞·迪克西特 (印度90年代知名影星 后结婚生子)　　Actually,I'd say she's a poor man's Madhuri Dixit.　　250　　00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:18,980　　你敢再说一遍!　　How dare you!　　251　　00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:21,150　　艾维雅·瑞儿是我的女神　　Aishwarya Rai is a goddess.　　252　　00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,780　　相比之下 玛杜瑞·迪克西特 就是得麻风病的妓女　　By comparison,Madhuri Dixit is a leprous prostitute.　　253　　00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,480　　对不起 我没想到会冒犯你　　Sorry,I didn't mean to offend you.　　254　　00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,740　　显然你不了解印度电影　　Obviously,you're not that familiar with Indian cinema.　　255　　00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,120　　谁啊?　　Who is it?　　256　　00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,660　　脱衣舞娘来喽!　　Stripper-Gram!　　257　　00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,510　　交给你了　　Tag,you're It.　　258　　00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:57,670　　你就不能把他塞进牛皮纸袋里 烧了算了?　　Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?　　259　　00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:03,670　　我从来没睡过气垫床　　I've never slept on an air mattress before.　　260　　00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,040　　腰部都没东西撑着　　No lumbar support whatsoever.　　261　　00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:11,200　　你大概是想睡公园的长椅上是吧　　Maybe you'd be happier on a park bench.　　262　　00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:14,750　　我认为 你没有办法把长椅弄到这儿来　　I don't see any way to get a park bench in here.　　263　　00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:16,420　　要换一下吗?　　Do you want to switch?　　264　　00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:17,780　　不用了 这样挺好　　No,that's fine.　　265　　00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:21,470　　睡在充气城堡上可舒服呢　　I'm perfectly comfortable sleeping on a bouncy castle.　　266　　00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:24,860　　下床来 我和你换　　Get out of bed. We're switching.　　267　　00:16:24,870 --> 00:16:28,040　　- 我没逼着你换 - 快下床!　　- Now,only if you want to. - Just get in the bed!　　268　　00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:30,310　　这是怎么了?　　What's going on?　　269　　00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,880　　你们两个臭小子 闹什么闹?　　Are you boys roughhousing?　　270　　00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,570　　老妈 我们只是在聊天!　　We're just talking,Ma!　　271　　00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:39,120　　要是你们再不给我安生点　　If you don't settle down right now,　　272　　00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:44,120　　看我以后还让不让你去朋友家过夜!　　I'm not going to let you have any more sleepovers!　　273　　00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:47,960　　老天啊 老妈 我都27了!　　For God's sake,Ma,I'm 27 years old!　　274　　00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:51,440　　明天又不上学!　　And it's not even a school night!　　275　　00:16:54,850 --> 00:16:56,790　　舒服了吧?　　Comfy now?　　276　　00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:06,040　　那张哈莉·贝瑞(好莱坞女星 曾出演猫女)的海报让我有点紧张　　That poster of Halle Berry is a little unnerving.　　277　　00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,690　　别看就是了　　So don't look at it.　　278　　00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:10,790　　她是我第四爱的猫女郎　　She's like my fourth favorite Catwoman.　　279　　00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:11,620　　不是吧　　No kidding.　　280　　00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,350　　对 前三个是朱莉·纽曼 米切尔·" type="audio/mpeg" />-->