00:00:04,130　　为什么我总是出力　　Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?　　2　　00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,960　　很简单啊　　Well, it's very simple.　　3　　00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,060　　在我们这群一无所有的破烂科学家当中　　In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose,　　4　　00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,500　　我负责动脑子　　I'm the smart one,　　5　　00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:11,860　　沃罗威茨负责搞笑　　Wolowitz is the funny one,　　6　　00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,960　　库萨帕里是一个奋力想要融入我们的生活　　and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner　　7　　00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,460　　但是以失败告终的可爱的老外　　who struggles to understand our ways and fails.　　8　　00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,200　　你别无选择　　只有肌肉男了　　That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.　　9　　00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,560　　再多搬一层　　我就肌肉难了　　One more floor, and I'd be the pulled muscle.　　10　　00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,160　　来的正好 我要饿死了　　Oh, it's about time. I'm starving.　　11　　00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,730　　这个　　其实我们没带中国菜回来　　Um, well, we didn't actually get Chinese food.　　12　　00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,360　　-为什么啊　　-淡定 这个更赞　　- Why not?　　- Don't panic. This is better.　　13　　00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,860　　不是吧 你们不会用食物换了魔豆吧　　Oh, no. You didn't trade the food for magic beans, did you?　　14　　00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:40,500　　当然没有　　Of course not.　　15　　00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:42,360　　况且严格来说　　魔豆也是食物　　And technically, magic beans would be food.　　16　　00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,500　　虽然吃了它们怪浪费的　　Although eating them would be quite a waste,　　17　　00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:45,860　　因为你可以种植它们　　since you could plant them,　　18　　00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:47,430　　然后一夜之间　　就会长成一株巨大的豆茎　　and overnight, have a giant beanstalk,　　19　　00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:50,330　　足够一个小城市吃的　　which would provide enough roughage for a small city.　　20　　00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,560　　其实有时候我根本没听你说话　　Yeah, sometimes I don't listen.　　21　　00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,260　　只是看着你的下巴一上一下　　Sometimes I just watch your jaw go up and down.　　22　　00:00:56,530 --> 00:00:58,430　　我们去中餐馆的路上　　We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant　　23　　00:00:58,460 --> 00:00:59,730　　貌似看见了亚当·韦斯特　　when we thought we saw Adam West,　　24　　00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,800　　亚当·韦斯特:《蝙蝠侠》的扮演者　　25　　00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:00,800　　所以我们就跟着他走　　so we followed him.　　26　　00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:01,930　　谁是亚当·韦斯特　　Who's Adam West?　　27　　00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,130　　谁是亚当·韦斯特　　Who's Adam West?!　　28　　00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,430　　莱纳德　　你们性交之后都聊些什么啊　　Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?　　29　　00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:12,630　　我猜是　　"哇塞　　4分钟　　新纪录啊"　　My guess is, "Hey, four minutes! New record!"　　30　　00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:17,760　　所以我才负责搞笑啊　　That's why I'm the funny one.　　31　　00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,230　　反正呢　　我们跟着他到了旧货出售摊儿　　Anyway, we followed the guy to this garage sale,　　32　　00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:21,800　　那卖的东西都超赞　　and they had the coolest stuff.　　33　　00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:22,900　　他们正好关门大甩卖　　They were closing up.　　34　　00:01:22,930 --> 00:01:24,760　　这一箱子东西才60块　　We got this whole box for 60 bucks.　　35　　00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,160　　我们还没来得及看清都有什么呢　　We didn't even get to go through it all.　　36　　00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,460　　说不定有什么宝贝呢　　There could be anything in here.　　37　　00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,230　　看看有没有新女朋友 说不定你需要一个　　There a new girlfriend in there? 'Cause you might need one.　　38　　00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:32,060　　没有　　No.　　39　　00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:35,430　　不过有《捉鬼敢死队》的原版终稿　　But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script　　40　　00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,160　　上面真的有黏液的污迹哎　　with actual slime stains!　　41　　00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:39,660　　你说得对　　Oh, you're right.　　42　　00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,900　　这个是《捉鬼敢死队2》　　It's Ghostbusters 2.　　43　　00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:42,160　　没看头　　Never mind.　　44　　00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,200　　我滴神啊　　Oh, my God.　　45　　00:01:48,230 --> 00:01:50,730　　是阿福娃娃　　An Alf doll.　　46　　00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:54,080　　我11岁时　　我妈在我爸去世后　　When I was 11, my mother got me one　　47　　00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,360　　给我买了一个 让我能睡好觉　　to help me sleep after my dad left.　　48　　00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:00,600　　我那时候会假装 爸爸是去了蜜胺树脂星球　　I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac,　　49　　00:02:00,630 --> 00:02:05,030　　而阿福会把他带回我身边的　　and Alf was going to bring him back to me.　　50　　00:02:05,060 --> 00:02:07,330　　但它从来也没有　　But he never did.　　51　　00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,560　　我爸爸在哪儿　　小玩偶　　Where's my daddy, puppet?　　52　　00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:16,200　　他在哪儿　　Where is he?　　53　　00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:19,060　　太伤感了　　That is so sad.　　54　　00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,260　　不　　更伤感的是你居然不知道　　No, what's sad is that you don't know　　55　　00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:24,230　　亚当·韦斯特是电视版蝙蝠侠的扮演者　　Adam West was TV's Batman.　　56　　00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:43,710　　生活大爆炸　　第三季第十七集　　57　　00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,860　　史波克的脑袋(波克:《星际迷航》中的人物)　　Here's Spock's head with no body.　　58　　00:02:55,030 --> 00:02:58,530　　T先生的身子(Mr.T:《星际迷航》中的人物)　　Here's Mr.T's body with no head.　　59　　00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:02,530　　啊在这儿　　史波克的身子配T先生的脑袋　　Oh, yeah, here's Spock's body with Mr.T's head.　　60　　00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,800　　我同情那些没有逻辑的傻瓜　　I pity the fool who's illogical.　　61　　00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:12,760　　好吧　　我要回家了　　Okay, I'm just gonna go home　　62　　00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,600　　做一个烤干酪　　然后上eHarmony 意淫去　　and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.　　63　　00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,660　　eHarmony:美国线上交友网站　　64　　00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,530　　好的　　拜拜　　Okay, bye.　　65　　00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,130　　妥了　　Okay.　　66　　00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,560　　哇塞　　快看　　《夺宝奇兵》的连连看　　Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones connect-the-dots.　　67　　00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,730　　还有潜水侠的手办　　And an Aquaman action figure.　　68　　00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,030　　好像有人给他画了个小弟弟　　Looks like someone drew a penis on him.　　69　　00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:31,230　　没事儿　　看我擦掉　　Ooh, that'll come off.　　70　　00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,430　　我们都看不下去了喂　　You see what you're doing?　　71　　00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:44,900　　停下　　Stop that.　　72　　00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,160　　真赞啊　　Fascinating.　　73　　00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,600　　什么东西　　What?　　74　　00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:50,030　　是《魔戒》里的魔戒　　It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.　　75　　00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,530　　上面居然还刻着　　Oh. It's even got　　76　　00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,100　　精灵语呢　　the Elvish engraving on it.　　77　　00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,430　　不是精灵语　　It's not Elvish.　　78　　00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,660　　是用精灵语的字母写的魔多语　　It's the language of Mordor written in Elvish script.　　79　　00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,830　　"魔戒全属至尊御"　　"One Ring to rule them all."　　80　　00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:06,830　　出自《魔戒》台词　　81　　00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:04,430　　"至尊指引诸魔戒"　　"One Ring to find them."　　82　　00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:07,030　　"至尊魔戒唤众戒"　　"One Ring to bring them all."　　83　　00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:10,560　　"众戒归一黑暗中"　　"And in the darkness bind them."　　84　　00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:14,530　　我靠　　咱们好宅啊　　Holy crap, are we nerdy.　　85　　00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:18,860　　我调查了一下这个魔戒　　So, I was doing some checking on the ring.　　86　　00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:21,100　　等下　　谢尔顿　　那边桌子上的是番茄酱吗　　Hold on. Sheldon, is there ketchup on that table?　　87　　00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,360　　是滴　　Yes, there is.　　88　　00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,930　　有个好玩的事儿 起初 番茄酱是酱汁的总称　　Oh, here's a fun fact. Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce,　　89　　00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,230　　特别是那些加了草本植物和香料的 蘑菇或腌鱼　　typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices.　　90　　00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:33,960　　早期流行的主材料包括蓝莓　　Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry,　　91　　00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,460　　凤尾鱼　　牡蛎　　四季豆　　还有葡萄　　anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.　　92　　00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,430　　没事儿　　我去拿　　No, that's okay. I'll get it.　　93　　00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:46,030　　听我说　　我仔细观察了魔戒 看上去有点奇怪　　Listen, I was looking at the ring, and it seemed a little weird.　　94　　00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:47,600　　上面竟然没有版权声明　　No copyright notice on it.　　95　　00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:51,130　　所以我就拿给我一个哥们儿看　　这么说吧　　So, I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with--　　96　　00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,730　　他专门和收藏界的黑市 做交易　　shall we say-- the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world.　　97　　00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,200　　黑市　　Seedy underbelly?　　98　　00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,560　　你那个黑市淘来的手提式相位枪　　You know, your black market phasers,　　99　　00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,560　　出自《星际迷航》　　100　　00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,730　　还有乌拉中尉在电影中穿过的内裤　　your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties,　　101　　00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,100　　就那些东西呗　　that kind of stuff.　　102　　00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,300　　你这个神秘兄弟是谁　　Who's this mysterious buddy you suddenly have?　　103　　00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:08,360　　就是我认识的一个家伙　　Just a guy. I know a guy.　　104　　00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,060　　-艾迪·克里斯波吗　　-我不能告诉你　　别问了　　- Is it Eddie Crispo? - No, I can't tell you who it is. Stop asking.　　105　　00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,700　　还能是谁　　肯定是艾迪·克里斯波　　Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo.　　106　　00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,800　　我认识很多黑道人物　　好不好　　I know lots of dangerous people, okay?　　107　　00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:17,860　　-说一个　　-艾迪·克里斯波　　- Name one. - Eddie Crispo.　　108　　00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:24,000　　不管怎样 他说这个不是仿品 而是真品　　Anyway, he said this isn't a replica. It's the real deal.　　109　　00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:26,960　　如果你说这就是索伦在末日火山　　If you're suggesting that that is the actual ring of power　　110　　00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,230　　打造的至尊魔戒[指环王情节]　　forged by Sauron in Mount Doom,　　111　　00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:31,660　　我会用极为不屑和　　I look at you with an expression of exhaustion　　112　　00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,700　　嘲笑的表情看着你　　and ever so slight amusement.　　113　　00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,660　　他不是说这是魔戒　　He's not saying it's a magic ring.　　114　　00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,600　　对吧　　You're not, are you?　　115　　00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,630　　没错　　但差不多　　No, but it's close.　　116　　00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,130　　看里面的标记　　Look at the markings inside.　　117　　00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,430　　那是生产标记　　Those are production markings.　　118　　00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:50,400　　为拍摄《指环王》　　共打造了九枚戒指　　Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies.　　119　　00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,230　　三枚送给了剧中演员　　Three were given to members of the cast.　　120　　00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:53,700　　剩下的都被销毁了　　The rest were destroyed.　　121　　00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:55,460　　除了一枚　　Except one.　　122　　00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,200　　被偷的一枚　　One was stolen.　　123　　00:05:58,230 --> 00:06:00,260　　先生们　　Gentlemen...　　124　　00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,830　　这就是至尊魔戒　　this is the one ring.　　125　　00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,660　　归我了　　Mine!　　126　　00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,260　　不　　不是你的　　No, it is not yours.　　127　　00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,900　　我们一起去要的箱子　　We all went in on the box together.　　128　　00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:15,230　　对　　但是我在箱子里找到的　　Well, yes, but I found it in the box,　　129　　00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,330　　海难救助法明确规定　　and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state　　130　　00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,230　　找到沉海宝藏的人　　that the finder of a sunken treasure　　131　　00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:20,830　　即视为宝藏的主人　　is the owner of the treasure.　　132　　00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:22,730　　这怎么符合海难救助法　　How is this maritime salvage?　　133　　00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,160　　除了没有水　　怎么不符合　　Other than the lack of water, how is it not?　　134　　00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,700　　等等　　谢尔顿　　先别发疯　　Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop being crazy for a second.　　135　　00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,900　　这种东西值多少钱　　How much is something like this worth?　　136　　00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,530　　这么抢手的东西很难估价　　Well, it's tough to say since it's hot,　　137　　00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,630　　不过在黑市里　　我朋友估价　　but on the underground market, my guy figures...　　138　　00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:35,660　　你是指艾迪·克里斯波吧　　Your guy Eddie Crispo?　　139　　00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,860　　是滴　　Yes.　　140　　00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:43,730　　他估价一万到一万五　　He figures ten, maybe 15 thousand.　　141　　00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,230　　既然值这么多钱　　Okay, that's a lot of money.　　142　　00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:48,360　　明智之举是用它投资更实用的东西　　The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical.　　143　　00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,100　　比如水上摩托艇　　Like a jet ski.　　144　　00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:53,060　　你要摩托艇干嘛　　Why do you want a jet ski?　　145　　00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:56,400　　电影里有钱又帅的人都骑摩托艇　　All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis.　　146　　00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:58,200　　这不可能是巧合　　That can't just be a coincidence.　　147　　00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:00,300　　我们不能卖它　　We can't sell it.　　148　　00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:01,900　　要保存它　　We have to keep it　　149　　00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:03,230　　珍惜它　　爱护它　　and love it and polish it,　　150　　00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,700　　只能偶尔拿出来　　and only take it out occasionally　　151　　00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,030　　去公园里　　when we go to the park　　152　　00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:09,030　　重演电影里喜欢的场景　　and reenact our favorite scenes from the movies.　　153　　00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:13,100　　听着有意思　　其实很无聊　　It's sad how great that sounds.　　154　　00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,300　　各位　　这是偷来的　　Guys, it's stolen.　　155　　00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:15,930　　应该还给彼得·杰克逊[指环王导演]　　It should go back to Peter Jackson.　　156　　00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,760　　他制作的电影　　魔戒应该属于他　　He made the movies; it belongs to him.　　157　　00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:18,960　　行啊　　Fine.　　158　　00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,330　　可以换给他　　只要他答应　　He can have it back as long as he promises　　159　　00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,600　　让我演下一部电影里的霍比特人　　to make me a hobbit in his next movie.　　160　　00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:25,700　　没有犹太霍比特人　　There are no Jewish hobbits.　　161　　00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:27,560　　显然你没在岁首节[犹太新年]　　Clearly, you've never been to my house　　162　　00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,830　　来我家吃饭　　for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.　　163　　00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:32,230　　我们不能敲诈彼得·杰　　We are not blackmailing Peter J...　　164　　00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:33,730　　够了　　魔戒哪去了　　All right, where's the ring?　　165　　00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,030　　你是说我的魔戒吗　　You mean my ring?　　166　　00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,130　　你这是干嘛　　What are you doing?　　167　　00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,300　　魔戒无人看护　　The ring was unguarded.　　168　　00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:40,060　　就这么放着台面　　It was just sitting on the table.　　169　　00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,530　　谁都能拿走　　Anyone could have taken it.　　170　　00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,460　　证据　　我拿了　　Proof? I did.　　171　　00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,030　　-给我　　-大家理智点　　- Give me that. - Look, let's be reasonable.　　172　　00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,400　　我们都对魔戒抱有不同的想法　　We all want to do different things with the ring,　　173　　00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:51,330　　但你们的想法太傻　　我要的可是摩托艇　　but your ideas are stupid, and I want a jet ski.　　174　　00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,060　　我找到的　　魔戒是我的　　I found it. The ring is mine.　　175　　00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:56,400　　我不明白　　为啥每次都不能我说了算　　I don't understand why in this group I never get my way.　　176　　00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,960　　有哪次不是你说了算　　You always get your way.　　177　　00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:07,260　　你把魔戒给我　　才是每次我说了算　　I'll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.　　178　　00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,430　　各位　　Hey, guys.　　179　　00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,800　　喜欢我给你们上的　　Enjoying your food that I actually　　180　　00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:11,460　　不是你们点的菜　　brought you instead of promising food,　　181　　00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,600　　是我随意找的一堆垃圾　　but bringing you a box of random crap?　　182　　00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:15,730　　很好吃　　Yeah, it's delicious.　　183　　00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,560　　就是讽刺的话不太新鲜　　The sarcasm's a little stale, though.　　184　　00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:19,860　　要不这样吧　　Hey, how about this?　　185　　00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,730　　确定如何处理魔戒前　　Until we figure out what to do with the ring,　　186　　00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,900　　由佩妮来保管　　Penny holds on to it.　　187　　00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:23,800　　什么戒指　　What ring?　　188　　00:08:23,830 --> 00:08:25,960　　这枚戒指　　This ring.　　189　　00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,130　　在找东西吗　　Looking for something?　　190　　00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,660　　你能保管几天吗　　Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?　　191　　00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,300　　-为什么　　-这是部电影的道具　　- Why? - It's a prop from a movie,　　192　　00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,260　　我们正为此争吵呢　　And we're kind of fighting over it.　　193　　00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,960　　只想说清楚　　我男朋友给我的　　Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewelry　　194　　00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,700　　第一件珠宝是电影里的道具　　my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie,　　195　　00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:41,200　　而且我还不能拥有它　　and I don't even get to keep it?　　196　　00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,900　　如果你三年前跟了我　　If you had gone out with me three years ago,　　197　　00:08:44,930 --> 00:08:47,330　　你现在应该能收到我姑婆艾达　　by now, you'd have my great Aunt Ida's brooch　　198　　00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,900　　塞进猫肚子从德占比利时偷运出的胸针　　that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.　　199　　00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:54,200　　现在感觉我还好吧　　How am I looking now?　　200　　00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,160　　你打我　　You hit me!　　201　　00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,360　　我在流血　　I'm bleeding!　　202　　00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,060　　什么情况　　What was that?　　203　　00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,330　　谢尔顿想偷魔戒　　我给了他一拳　　Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.　　204　　00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:09,730　　干得好　　That's my girl.　　205　　00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,060　　谢尔顿啊　　So, Sheldon,　　206　　00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:22,460　　被一个女人家揍的感觉如何　　how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?　　207　　00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,260　　反正不是第一次了　　It's not the first time.　　208　　00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:30,700　　在子宫里我那胞姐就开始欺负我　　I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.　　209　　00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:34,830　　如果当年我能一直坚定的吸收掉她　　If only I'd had the presence of mind to reabsorb her,　　210　　00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:36,860　　我也就多了一颗长毛的痣　　then I'd have a mole with hair in it　　211　　00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:40,300　　这样也不会收到那些无聊的圣诞贺卡了　　instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.　　212　　00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,660　　先生们　　你们还没有觉悟吗　　Gentlemen, have you come to the realization　　213　　00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,500　　最明智的选择　　that the only reasonable course of action　　214　　00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:46,300　　就是卖了魔戒再分钱　　is to sell the ring and divide the money?　　215　　00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:47,460　　没门　　No.　　216　　00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,530　　我就怕你这么说　　I was afraid of that.　　217　　00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,530　　说吧　　Go ahead.　　218　　00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,160　　在孟买问候大家　　Greetings from Mumbai.　　219　　00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,660　　我是拉杰的律师　　文卡塔斯·库萨帕里　　I am Raj's attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.　　220　　00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:58,700　　也是我表哥　　Also my cousin.　　221　　00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:00,160　　你居然还找了个律师　　You brought a lawyer?　　222　　00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,400　　这个不用回答　　Don't answer that.　　223　　00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,560　　我就直说了　　I'll get straight to the point.　　224　　00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,600　　我的委托人准备放弃　　My client's prepared to surrender　　225　　00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,060　　他在这枚魔戒上的一切利益　　any interest he has in the ring　　226　　00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,800　　来交换两辆川崎水上摩托　　in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.　　227　　00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:12,830　　两辆水上摩托是不可能的　　We're not giving him two Jet Skis.　　228　　00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:14,260　　听着　　大家都成年人了　　Look, we're big boys,　　229　　00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:16,960　　我们何不都退一步海阔天空呢　　why don't we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle?　　230　　00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,400　　一辆水上摩托就够了 怎么样　　One Kawasaki Jet Ski. Done and done.　　231　　00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,030　　半辆都不给　　No Jet Skis.　　232　　00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,460　　好吧　　不谈水上摩托了　　All right, forget the Jet Skis.　　233　　00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,230　　你说什么 这是我们的底线　　Forget the Jet Skis? That was our line in the sand!　　234　　00:11:29,260 --> 00:11:31,130　　你就这点招数吗　　What happened to "tear them a new one?"　　235　　00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,960　　那你要我怎样 他们态度强硬 我们输了　　What can I say? They played hardball. We lost.　　236　　00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,300　　你这没用的东西　　You're useless.　　237　　00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:38,130　　你来雇我时我就说了　　I told you that when you hired me.　　238　　00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,600　　我要下线了　　I'm signing off now.　　239　　00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:42,760　　记得联系你妈 她担心你呢　　Call your mother. She worries.　　240　　00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,940　　知道吗 向别人介绍自己的律师表兄时　　Okay, just so you know, if we're bringing in cousins who are lawyers,　　241　　00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:50,630　　要准备好被雷　　prepare for shock and awe.　　242　　00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,010　　告诉你们　　我来了结这件事　　You know what? I am ending this.　　243　　00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:53,320　　佩妮不想再保管魔戒　　Penny didn't want to hold the ring anymore.　　244　　00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,190　　她还给了我　　现在我手上 我要寄回去　　She gave it to me. I have it. I'm sending it back.　　245　　00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:57,920　　魔戒呢　　Where's the ring?　　246　　00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,390　　你是指这个魔戒吗　　You mean this ring?　　247　　00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:03,190　　下次在公共厕所里排尿　　Next time be aware of your surroundings　　248　　00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:05,390　　记得要耳听八方环顾四周　　while urinating in a public men's room.　　249　　00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,590　　快给我　　Give me that.　　250　　00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:07,620　　才不　　这是我的　　No, it's mine.　　251　　00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,560　　我们都有份　　It's all of ours.　　252　　00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,560　　-得了　　这也太荒唐了　　-那就放手　　- Okay, now, this is ridiculous!　　- Then let go!　　253　　00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:13,920　　偏不　　你干嘛不放手　　I'm not letting go. You let go.　　254　　00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,390　　要我说　　谁坚持到最后　　I say this ring belongs　　255　　00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:17,460　　魔戒就归谁　　to the last person who can hold on.　　256　　00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:19,660　　行啊　　我们回家再开始吗　　Fine. But can't we go home and start this?　　257　　00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:22,190　　当然 那现在先放手　　Sure. Let go of the ring.　　258　　00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:24,720　　好吧　　那就从现在开始　　All right, it starts now.　　259　　00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,620　　今晚科幻频道有巨虫电影联播　　You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon　　260　　00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:33,890　　你们都还记得吧　　tonight on the Syfy Channel.　　261　　00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:50,690　　慢　　我的笔记本还没拿　　Wait, my laptop.　　262　　00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,290　　这也太白痴了　　一点也没意义了　　You know, there's a point no when this becomes idiotic.　　263　　00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,560　　刚我们这样开车的时候你咋不说　　And it wasn't when we were driving like this?　　264　　00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,790　　我好心建议你们三个放弃吧　　I would advise the three of you　　265　　00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,420　　再怎么死撑也是徒劳　　that resistance is futile.　　266　　00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:14,090　　我的耐性可是出了名的好　　I have endless patience.　　267　　00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,320　　我曾和惠普的客服人员　　I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold　　268　　00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,320　　耗了整整两个半小时　　with Hewlett-Packard customer service　　269　　00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,490　　就为投诉他们客服态度差劲　　just to complain about their customer service.　　270　　00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:24,990　　你少和我吹嘘耐性　　You want to talk about endless patience?　　271　　00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:27,020　　佩妮逼我看完了整整　　Penny made me watch all five seasons　　272　　00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:29,190　　五季的《欲望都市》　　of Sex and the City.　　273　　00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,290　　老兄　　那玩意有六季　　There are six seasons, dude.　　274　　00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,460　　噢　　杯具　　Oh, crap!　　275　　00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,960　　别这么说嘛　　第六季很赞啊　　No, no, no, the sixth season is great.　　276　　00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:43,020　　凯莉刚分手　　伤心地去了巴黎　　We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken,　　277　　00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:44,260　　而大人物又突然出现　　and then Mr. Big shows up,　　278　　00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,260　　我们都很好奇　　她是否还能再相信他　　we don't know if we can trust him again.　　279　　00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,460　　真是跨越地球的爱恋啊　　It's a wild ride.　　280　　00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,490　　我要开门　　Door.　　281　　00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,720　　同志们　　屈膝[法语 芭蕾舞动作]　　Okay, everybody, and plie?　　282　　00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,920　　再踮立[法语 芭蕾舞动作]　　And releve?　　283　　00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,890　　你们干什么呢　　Whatcha doin'?　　284　　00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,660　　谁坚持到最后　　魔戒归谁　　Last one holding the ring decides its fate.　　285　　00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:21,890　　我知道这很蠢　　I know, it sounds silly.　　286　　00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,820　　才不会呢　　你是我男友啊　　No, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend.　　287　　00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,860　　情人眼里出西施嘛　　Nothing you do is silly to me.　　288　　00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:27,790　　多谢　　Thank you.　　289　　00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:32,590　　顺便说下　　这可是维多利亚的秘密内衣　　FYI-- this is a bag from Victoria's Secret.　　290　　00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,690　　老子不干了　　I'm out.　　291　　00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,260　　抱歉　　老妈　　I'm sorry, Ma,　　292　　00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:55,260　　没办法　　我要在办公室加班　　I have to stay late at the office.　　293　　00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,590　　才没有　　他在骗你　　No, he's doesn't! He's lying to you!　　294　　00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,390　　你就不能消停点吗　　Will you be quiet?　　295　　00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,260　　要隐私的话　　放开手就行了啊　　Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring.　　296　　00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:04,090　　真开心　　I'm so glad　　297　　00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,920　　终于能来这家异教徒的脱衣舞俱乐部　　we came to this gentile strip club!　　298　　00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,160　　霍华德　　Howard,　　299　　00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:11,690　　再给你个培根　　塞她们丁字裤里去　　here's more bacon to tuck into the shiksa's G-string!　　300　　00:15:13,490 --> 00:15:15,360　　我再打给你　　I'll call you back.　　301　　00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:17,420　　你实在太贴心了　　还特地打电话　　I think it's lovely you call your mommy　　302　　00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,260　　告诉你妈　　你赶不回去吃晚饭　　and let her know you're going to be late for dinner.　　303　　00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:20,520　　据我所知　　From what I know about these things,　　304　　00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,390　　没能按时喂奶的女人　　if a woman doesn't breast-feed on time,　　305　　00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:25,260　　咪咪会很不舒服的　　it's very uncomfortable for her boobies.　　306　　00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:28,320　　别跟我谈我妈的咪咪　　Don't you talk about my mother's boobies!　　307　　00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,960　　听着不爽的话　　放手啊　　If you're offended, let go of the ring　　308　　00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:32,490　　赶紧回家找你妈吃奶去　　and go on home to your mother's boobies.　　309　　00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,060　　太好了　　太好了　　Excellent, excellent.　　310　　00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,860　　你们俩耗吧　　我就能笑到最后　　Tire each other out, the ring will be mine.　　311　　00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:38,620　　霍华德　　何不谈谈拉杰他妈　　Howard, why don't you go after Raj's mother?　　312　　00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:42,120　　不然咱谈谈你妈　　Why don't we go after your mother?　　313　　00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,090　　尽管谈　　Go ahead.　　314　　00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,220　　我又没有恋母情结　　I have no illusions about my mother.　　315　　00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:48,190　　她就一个和蔼可亲　　She is a kind, loving,　　316　　00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:50,220　　笃信上帝　　极端右翼的德州人　　religiously fanatical right-wing Texan　　317　　00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:52,290　　头长得有点不合比例　　with a slightly out-of-scale head　　318　　00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,620　　还对佩珀汽水有点上瘾　　and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction.　　319　　00:15:55,590 --> 00:15:58,060　　还有什么要补充的吗　　Anything you'd like to add?　　320　　00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,090　　这样说根本没用　　That's not gonna get you anywhere.　　321　　00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,590　　得给他来点狠的　　Better pull out the big gun.　　322　　00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:02,590　　说得对　　You're right.　　323　　00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,820　　咱来谈谈你祖母　　Let's talk about your grandmother.　　324　　00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:06,590　　不要　　No!　　325　　00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:09,160　　不许说我奶奶　　I call no" type="audio/mpeg" />-->