00:00:04,480　　《阿凡达》的人物在潘多拉性交时　　Okay in Avatar when they have sex in Pandora　　2　　00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,080　　会连接双方的马尾辫　　可以推测　　they hook up their ponytails, so we know their ponytails　　3　　00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,670　　马尾辫类似于他们的生殖器　　are like their junk.　　4　　00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:11,300　　那又怎样　　Yeah... so?　　5　　00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:13,470　　他们骑马或骑鸟的时候　　So, when they ride horses and fly on the birds,　　6　　00:00:13,510 --> 00:00:14,840　　也会用到马尾辫　　they also use their ponytails.　　7　　00:00:14,870 --> 00:00:16,040　　你到底想说什么　　What's your point?　　8　　00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:17,930　　也就是说　　如果我是马或者鸟　　My point is, if I were a horse or a bird,　　9　　00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:20,680　　我在詹姆斯·卡梅隆身边会相当紧张　　I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.　　10　　00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:25,950　　你对虚构情节如此着迷 实在让我费解　　It amazes me how you constantly obsess over fictional details　　11　　00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:28,920　　现实世界中还有很多 重要的事等着你呢　　when there are more important things in the real world to worry about.　　12　　00:00:28,950 --> 00:00:32,490　　比如　　威廉·夏特纳怎么没出演 新的《星际迷航》电影　　For example, why wasn't William Shatner in the new Star Trek movie?　　13　　00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:35,860　　谢尔顿 我刚走过行政办公室时　　Hey, Sheldon. I was up in the administration office,　　14　　00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:38,560　　无意中听到了 今年大学科学奖　　and I happened to overhear the name of the winner　　15　　00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,930　　得奖人的名字　　of this year's Chancellor's Award for Science.　　16　　00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:43,000　　你又想趁机打击我　　And you want to rub my nose in the fact　　17　　00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:44,870　　我的成就又被无视了吧　　that my contributions are being overlooked again?　　18　　00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:47,570　　我就是理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳　　I am the William Shatner of theoretical physics.　　19　　00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:49,970　　好吧　　我配合你　　All right, I'll play.　　20　　00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:53,140　　他们今年选了哪个 自以为是 狂妄自大的骗子　　What self-important, preening fraud are they honoring this year?　　21　　00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:55,710　　我真高兴你这么问　　那个人就是你　　Oh, I'm so glad you asked it like that. You.　　22　　00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,750　　-我得奖了　　-你得奖了　　- I won?　　- You won.　　23　　00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:02,190　　我得奖啦　　I won!　　24　　00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:03,990　　太让我感到意外了　　This is astonishing.　　25　　00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:06,590　　不是意外得了奖　　没人比我更有资格　　Not that I won the award-- no one deserves it more.　　26　　00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:10,130　　其实　　我说错了 根本不意外　　得奖是意料中的事　　Actually, I guess I misspoke. It's not astonishing; more like inevitable.　　27　　00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,700　　我不知道该先做什么 要不先通知我妈　　I'm not sure what to do first. Maybe I should call my mother.　　28　　00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:18,410　　我知道啦　　做个自访 然后放到网上去　　Wait! I know-- I'm going to conduct an interview with myself and post it online.　　29　　00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,600　　真替他高兴　　Well, good for him.　　30　　00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,510　　对　　理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳　　Yeah, the one thing the William Shatner　　31　　00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:29,610　　最需要的就是自我膨胀　　of theoretical physics needed was an ego boost.　　32　　00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:49,050　　生活大爆炸　　第三季第十八集　　33　　00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:16,840　　那支长矛逼真得 就像要直接穿过咱的头啊　　Didn't it look like that spear was going to go right through your skull?　　34　　00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,310　　才怪　　No.　　35　　00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:23,300　　你不买7-11的Slurpee[饮料名] 就没眼镜戴　　Hey, you didn't want a Slurpee at 7-Eleven, you don't get glasses.　　36　　00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:29,190　　肯定又是打给我道贺的　　Oh, that will be another congratulatory call for me.　　37　　00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:30,920　　请静音　　Uh, mute, please.　　38　　00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,160　　等等　　火焰箭呢　　Wait, wait. Hang on-- flaming arrow.　　39　　00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:37,860　　喂　　Hello?　　40　　00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,700　　莫顿校长　　你好　　Oh, Chancellor Morton, how are you, sir?　　41　　00:02:42,270 --> 00:02:45,840　　对　　我在等你的电话 三年前就开始了　　Yes, I was expecting your call. Three years ago.　　42　　00:02:47,010 --> 00:02:48,370　　我明白　　I see.　　43　　00:02:48,410 --> 00:02:51,380　　等等　　如果我不想做演讲呢　　Wait. What happens if I choose not to give a speech?　　44　　00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:53,050　　嗯　　Uh-huh.　　45　　00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,680　　如果我不想放弃奖项呢　　And if I don't want to forfeit the award?　　46　　00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,750　　好　　您现在是箭在弦上　　不得不发　　Well, you've got that tied up in a neat little bow.　　47　　00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:00,820　　好吧　　All right.　　48　　00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:02,420　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　49　　00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,290　　有状况　　Problem.　　50　　00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:05,760　　咋了　　What?　　51　　00:03:05,790 --> 00:03:08,490　　他们要我在宴会上做演讲　　They expect me to give a speech at the banquet.　　52　　00:03:08,530 --> 00:03:10,100　　我不会做演讲　　I can't give a speech.　　53　　00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:15,000　　不　　你弄错了 你一直都滔滔不绝　　Well, no, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time.　　54　　00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:20,170　　你是不会闭嘴　　What you can't do is shut up.　　55　　00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:21,940　　看电影前　　Yeah, before the movie,　　56　　00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:24,370　　你说了20分钟为啥鳄梨酱变棕色了　　you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown.　　57　　00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,380　　你说话的时候　　它就变棕色了　　It turned brown while you were talking.　　58　　00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,380　　我在小群体面前能自如讲话　　I am perfectly comfortable speaking to small groups.　　59　　00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,550　　但没法在大群体面前演讲　　I cannot speak to large crowds.　　60　　00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,060　　你的大群体怎么定义　　What, to you, is a large crowd?　　61　　00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,560　　大到能把我踩死的那种　　Any group big enough to trample me to death.　　62　　00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:42,960　　按经验估计是36个成人或70个儿童　　General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children.　　63　　00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,000　　谢尔顿　　恭喜恭喜　　Sheldon, congratulations.　　64　　00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:47,670　　从店里给你带了芝士蛋糕　　Brought you a cheesecake from work.　　65　　00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,170　　这是给你庆祝得奖的　　You know, 'cause of your award,　　66　　00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,000　　不是因为小工对着它打了喷嚏　　not because a busboy sneezed on it.　　67　　00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:56,840　　-我不接受奖项了　　-为什么　　- I'm not accepting the award.　　- Why not?　　68　　00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,380　　因为伟大的谢尔顿居然会怯场　　Turns out the great Sheldon Cooper has stage fright.　　69　　00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:01,550　　那也没有理由退出啊　　That's no reason to back out.　　70　　00:04:01,780 --> 00:04:04,550　　我以前在高中时 得了个很大的奖　　You know, I once got a pretty big honor in high school,　　71　　00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:06,990　　而我很怕面对一大群人　　and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd,　　72　　00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:09,190　　但我挺过来了　　知道吗　　but I went through with it, and you know what?　　73　　00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:11,090　　作为玉米皇后团的成员之一　　The world looked pretty darn good　　74　　00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:13,790　　坐在福特F150后面放的干草堆上　　sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150　　75　　00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:16,860　　那是相当的风光啊　　as a member of the Corn Queen's court.　　76　　00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:19,900　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　77　　00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,230　　我会牢记在心的　　Yeah, I'll bear that in mind　　78　　00:04:21,270 --> 00:04:23,900　　如果我被提名乡巴佬和平奖的话　　if I'm ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize.　　79　　00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:28,510　　谢尔顿　　你小题大做了　　Sheldon, you're being ridiculous.　　80　　00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:29,540　　是吗　　Am I?　　81　　00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:30,880　　我给你们讲个故事　　Let me tell you a story.　　82　　00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,580　　咱现在就需要70个儿童　　Where's 70 children when you need them?　　83　　00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:39,420　　我14岁时以Summa cum laude的成绩从大学毕业　　I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college.　　84　　00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:42,760　　Summa cum laude在拉丁语里是指最高荣誉　　"Summa cum laude" is Latin for "with highest honors."　　85　　00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:47,430　　你要是能跳过 没人问的东西就好了　　I just love how you always skip over the part where no one asks.　　86　　00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,930　　我要在毕业典礼上做致词　　I was valedictorian and expected to give an address.　　87　　00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,200　　我到现在还记得当时　　Even now, I can remember that moment　　88　　00:04:52,230 --> 00:04:55,400　　我走上讲台　　看着人群　　when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd.　　89　　00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,400　　台下数以千计的人　　There must have been thousands of people.　　90　　00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,640　　我的心开始剧烈跳动　　My heart started pounding in my chest.　　91　　00:04:59,670 --> 00:05:01,210　　然后开始大口呼气　　I began to hyperventilate.　　92　　00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,880　　视力渐渐模糊　　还没来得及...　　My vision became blurry, and before I knew it...　　93　　00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:06,850　　晕啊　　Oh, dear.　　94　　00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,450　　老天　　Oh, my God.　　95　　00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,520　　谢尔顿　　Sheldon?　　96　　00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:11,080　　谢尔顿　　你没事吧　　Sheldon, are you okay?　　97　　00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,120　　表踩我啊　　Don't trample me.　　98　　00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:16,520　　拜托　　妈妈　　Come on, Mother.　　99　　00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,560　　你知道我为啥不接受奖项　　You know why I can't accept the award.　　100　　00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:23,760　　恕我直言　　我不觉得祈祷会有用　　With all due respect, I don't think praying will help.　　101　　00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,870　　没　　我没听过那首 "主啊　　请掌控这命运之轮"　　No, I have not heard the song, "Jesus, Take the Wheel."　　102　　00:05:27,900 --> 00: 05:31,870　　不用不用 你不需要唱给我听　　No, no... You don't need to start singing it.　　103　　00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:35,070　　好　　我会在iTunes上下载的　　妈妈　　Yes, I'll buy it on the iTunes, Mother.　　104　　00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:36,710　　再见　　妈妈　　Good-bye, Mother.　　105　　00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:44,520　　各位好　　Hello.　　106　　00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:46,850　　坐啊　　我们想和你谈谈　　Sit down. We want to talk to you.　　107　　00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:48,190　　我是有麻烦了吗　　Am I in trouble?　　108　　00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:50,090　　我妈妈给你们打电话了　　Did my mother call you?　　109　　00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,490　　坐就是了　　Just sit.　　110　　00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:55,160　　我们能帮你克服怯场的问题　　We think we can help you with your stage fright.　　111　　00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,800　　我深表怀疑　　Oh, I doubt that.　　112　　00:05:56,830 --> 00:06:00,000　　我比你们智商都高 我都没想出办法呢　　I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.　　113　　00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:05,310　　是的　　可我们几个的智商加起来肯定比你高　　Yes, but you're not smarter than all of us put together.　　114　　00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:08,410　　不好意思 还是我高　　Oh, I'm sorry. That is what I meant.　　115　　00:06:09,310 --> 00:06:12,780　　好吧　　你的问题是 你想孤军奋战　　Okay. Your problem is, you're trying to do this all by yourself.　　116　　00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:14,810　　我们可以帮你　　当你的队友　　We can help you. We can be your team.　　117　　00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:17,650　　就像　　X教授和X战警　　Like, uh, Professor Xavier and his X-Men.　　118　　00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:24,020　　我确实挺喜欢《X战警》　　I do like the X-Men.　　119　　00:06:24,060 --> 00:06:26,260　　我看过《X战警》吗　　Did I see X-Men?　　120　　00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:28,900　　看过啊　　我们上周才看的 你还说你喜欢呢　　Yeah, we watched it last week. You said you liked it.　　121　　00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,630　　亲爱的　　说话又不用付钱　　Oh. I say a lot of things, sweetie.　　122　　00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,500　　怎么样啊　　谢尔顿　　So, how about it, Sheldon?　　123　　00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:35,970　　不好说　　I don't know.　　124　　00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,470　　如果你们是X战警　　那你们的超能力是什么　　If you're my X-Men, what are your powers?　　125　　00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:43,310　　这个　　我会带你去购物 帮你选一套超赞的西装　　Okay. Well, I am going to take you shopping, get you a nice suit.　　126　　00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:44,710　　能让你更自信　　Might give you more confidence.　　127　　00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:46,910　　确切来说这不叫变异　　光凭这点你不可能　　That's not exactly a mutation that would get you　　128　　00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:49,290　　进到X教授专为天赋异禀的年轻人开设的学校　　into Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters,　　129　　00:06:49,290 --> 00:06:49,850　　不过继续　　but go on.　　130　　00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,150　　莱纳德　　Leonard?　　131　　00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:53,220　　我可以对你进行心理分析　　I thought I could try to analyze you　　132　　00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,260　　然后找出让你如此焦虑的根源　　and get to the root of your anxiety.　　133　　00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,630　　你凭什么觉得你能读懂我的内心呢　　What qualifies you to attempt to understand my mind?　　134　　00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:01,190　　我妈是一位杰出的精神病专家　　My mother is a highly regarded psychiatrist,　　135　　00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:04,460　　而且自从她指责我过于依赖母乳开始　　and I've been in therapy ever since she accused me　　136　　00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,000　　我就一直在接受治疗　　of breast-feeding codependently.　　137　　00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:11,340　　拉杰说他可以教你　　Raj says he can teach you...　　138　　00:07:11,370 --> 00:07:13,340　　什么名字来着　　What did you call it?　　139　　00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:16,640　　我记不住　　一些扯淡的印度冥想　　I don't know-- some Indian meditation crap.　　140　　00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:22,960　　明白了 由于前三位的水准 都严重不靠谱　　I see. Well, I assume, since the rest of you have set the bar so low,　　141　　00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,350　　我想你们是把最睿智的办法放到了最后　　you're saving the most impressive contribution for last.　　142　　00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:28,790　　说吧　　霍华德 惊我一下　　Go ahead, Howard. Dazzle me.　　143　　00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:33,530　　我的超能力就是我可以　　My power is the ability to pretend　　144　　00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,460　　假装我很在意你这尿频尿急类的鬼问题　　like I give a damn about your piddily-ass problems.　　145　　00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,940　　而且我能一直装下去　　伙计　　And that's 24-seven, buddy.　　146　　00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:49,080　　我很感激你如此做作　　And I appreciate the pretense.　　147　　00:07:50,210 --> 00:07:51,480　　怎么样啊　　谢尔顿　　So, what do you say, Sheldon?　　148　　00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:53,180　　我们是你的X战警吗　　Are we your X-Men?　　149　　00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:54,380　　不是　　No.　　150　　00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:57,780　　X战警这名字来源于X教授的姓氏　　The X-Men were named for the "X" in Charles Xavier.　　151　　00:07:57,820 --> 00:08:02,160　　既然我叫谢尔顿·库珀　　那你们就是C战警(与精液谐音)　　Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men.　　152　　00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,330　　这名字可不怎么好听　　Oh, that's not a good name.　　153　　00:08:14,130 --> 00:08:17,400　　好了　　谢尔顿 我将引导你进行　　Okay, Sheldon. I'm going to be leading you　　154　　00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,610　　一系列的冥想练习　　through a series of meditation exercises.　　155　　00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,910　　这些方法是从古代印度大师那里　　These methods come from the ancient gurus of India　　156　　00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:26,110　　传承下来的　　也帮我克服了自己的恐惧　　and have helped me overcome my own fears.　　157　　00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:29,950　　可你还是不敢和女人说话　　And yet, you can't speak to women.　　158　　00:08:31,150 --> 00:08:33,420　　确实　　不过托冥想的福　　我可以和女人　　True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay　　159　　00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:35,910　　呆在同一房间　　而且不会被吓到尿裤子　　in the same room with them without urinating.　　160　　00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,590　　现在　　闭上双眼　　Now... close your eyes.　　161　　00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:44,530　　好的　　不过不许打我　　Okay, but don't punch me.　　162　　00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:45,900　　什么　　What?　　163　　00:08:45,930 --> 00:08:48,170　　小时候　　我姐姐会对我说　　When I was little, my sister would say to me,　　164　　00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,070　　"闭上双眼　　惊喜出现"　　"Close your eyes, you'll get a surprise,"　　165　　00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,870　　然后她就会给我一拳　　and then she'd punch me.　　166　　00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,710　　我不会打你的　　I'm not going to punch you.　　167　　00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:55,680　　我姐姐以前也这么说的　　That's what my sister used to say.　　168　　00:08:56,610 --> 00:08:58,180　　你到底还练不练了　　Do you want to do this or not?　　169　　00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,980　　抱歉　　请继续　　I'm sorry. Proceed.　　170　　00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:01,680　　好的　　All right.　　171　　00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,520　　想象你正身处一个 最有家的感觉的地方　　Imagine yourself in the one place you feel most at home.　　172　　00:09:05,550 --> 00:09:06,890　　是哪里呢　　Where is that?　　173　　00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,860　　模拟城市[一款游戏]　　Sim City.　　174　　00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:14,560　　更确切地说　　是我设计的模拟城市　　More specifically, the Sim City I designed--　　175　　00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,630　　谢尔顿奥波利斯　　Sheldonopolis.　　176　　00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:19,100　　好的　　你身处谢尔顿奥波利斯　　Okay, you're in Sheldonopolis.　　177　　00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:20,830　　确切的地点是哪　　Where exactly?　　178　　00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:22,970　　谢尔顿广场　　谢尔顿之塔　　Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers?　　179　　00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,640　　还是人称谢尔顿勇士之家的谢尔顿运动场　　Sheldon Stadium, home of the Fighting Sheldons?　　180　　00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:28,140　　随你喜欢　　Whatever you like.　　181　　00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:30,910　　不是说你引导我冥想吗　　I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.　　182　　00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,750　　好吧　　你在谢尔顿广场　　Fine. You're in Sheldon Square.　　183　　00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:34,950　　是吗　　这个季节吗　　Really? This time of year?　　184　　00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:36,350　　那可有点冷　　It's a bit nippy.　　185　　00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:38,420　　那就穿件毛衣　　Then, put on a sweater.　　186　　00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,350　　那我可以去市中心的　　Suppose I could run downtown　　187　　00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:43,660　　谢尔玛买一件　　and pick up something at Shel-Mart.　　188　　00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:45,630　　随便啊　　去买件毛衣就是了　　Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater.　　189　　00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,960　　好处就是谢尔玛是我开的　　You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it,　　190　　00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,400　　所以我买东西85折　　so I get a 15% discount.　　191　　00:09:50,430 --> 00:09:54,070　　还不都你说了算 痛快拿件毛衣就行了　　You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater!　　192　　00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,270　　上一季度我根本没有盈利　　Look, I didn't turn a profit last quarter　　193　　00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:59,270　　就是因为我肆无忌惮地拿东西不给钱　　by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.　　194　　00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:02,040　　好吧　　All right.　　195　　00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:06,080　　你买了件毛衣　　现在你在谢尔顿广场　　You've paid for a sweater, and you're in Sheldon Square.　　196　　00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:08,480　　等等　　Hang on.　　197　　00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:12,390　　是开衫的　　我得扣上扣子　　It's a cardigan. I have to button it.　　198　　00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:16,660　　不会吧　　Oh, no.　　199　　00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:17,820　　又怎么了　　What now?　　200　　00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:20,860　　一个类似哥斯拉的怪物正在接近城市　　A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city.　　201　　00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:23,200　　我得把我的市民转移到安全区　　I have to get my people to safety.　　202　　00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:26,400　　谢尔顿奥波利斯的市民们　　我是你们的市长　　People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor.　　203　　00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:27,670　　跟着我　　Follow me.　　204　　00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:31,300　　小孩子要是跑不了　　就别管他们了　　If the children can't run, leave them behind.　　205　　00:10:32,910 --> 00:10:36,180　　哎哟妈呀　　模拟恐怖效果贼棒　　Oh, the simulated horror!　　206　　00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:47,220　　拉杰　　Raj?　　207　　00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:50,590　　我就知道　　Just as I suspected.　　208　　00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:53,230　　什么冥想不过是噱头　　Meditation is nothing but hokum.　　209　　00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,340　　我相当质疑你的说法　　I question your premise.　　210　　00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:03,580　　要防止我在满屋子人面前晕倒　　How is a new suit going to prevent me　　211　　00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:05,880　　买套新西装有个毛用了　　from passing out in front of a ballroom full of people?　　212　　00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:07,880　　那会让你充满自信　　It'll give you confidence.　　213　　00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,580　　只要我倍感压力时　　You know, sometimes when I'm feeling all stressed out　　214　　00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,880　　我就会去买件可爱上衣　　about something, I go out and buy a cute top　　215　　00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,020　　或漂漂裙裙　　如此一来就会容光焕发　　or a fun skirt and I have a whole new outlook on life.　　216　　00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:18,860　　你傻的啊　　难道你没意识到 你只是换了皮囊　　内压犹在啊　　Don't you eventually realize you're just the same stressed out person　　217　　00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:20,960　　穿可爱上装和漂漂裙裙有啥用　　in a cute top or a fun skirt?　　218　　00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:23,660　　是的　　所以还要买鞋子　　Yeah, that's when I buy shoes.　　219　　00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:26,330　　我们来选选　　Now, let's see what we've got.　　220　　00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,900　　这件帅气　　This is nice.　　221　　00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:32,810　　这件就一个颜色　　It's only one color.　　222　　00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,170　　是啊　　咋了　　Yeah, so?　　223　　00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:37,380　　就一个颜色还这么贵　　岂不是亏了　　That's a lot of money for only one color.　　224　　00:11:37,410 --> 00:11:38,410　　好吧　　Fine.　　225　　00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:40,250　　你自己选自己喜欢的　　Why don't you pick out what you like.　　226　　00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,820　　这件很犀利　　This is pretty sharp.　　227　　00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:54,190　　不 没门儿　　No. You're wrong.　　228　　00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,300　　这件够劲　　This is great.　　229　　00:11:57,330 --> 00:12:00,630　　我六岁时也有件差不多样式的　　I had a suit like this when I was six.　　230　　00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:06,610　　好吧　　这件绝对无可挑剔　　Okay, I think we have a winner.　　231　　00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,180　　靠　　你哪儿弄来的这件　　Where the hell'd you find that?　　232　　00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,550　　舞会礼服柜台　　In the prom department.　　233　　00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:14,950　　这也太可笑了　　It's ridiculous.　　234　　00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:18,890　　玉米皇后团前团员没资格说这话吧　　Says the former member of the Corn Queen's Court.　　235　　00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,390　　去试试这件再说　　Please just try this one on.　　236　　00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:27,290　　好吧 现在不管我穿啥 和之前的相比都只能相形见拙了　　Okay. But anything I put on now is only going to suffer in comparison.　　237　　00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:36,640　　这太荒唐了 简直像个小丑　　This is absurd. I look like a clown.　　238　　00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:43,240　　谢尔顿　　So, Sheldon...　　239　　00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,980　　你最近如何　　...how you doing?　　240　　00:12:47,010 --> 00:12:50,620　　你就这样开始心理治疗吗　　That's how you start a psychotherapy session?　　241　　00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:51,950　　居然问这种蠢问题　　"How am I doing?"　　242　　00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:54,450　　我本来满心期待进行一场　　I was promised a riverboat journey　　243　　00:12:54,490 --> 00:12:56,720　　对自我潜意识的探寻之旅　　into the jungles of my subconscious.　　244　　00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,620　　结果呢　　我都听到什么鬼问题啊　　Instead, I get the same question I hear　　245　　00:12:58,660 --> 00:13:01,790　　拉尔夫餐厅切香肠的女招待都问得出来　　from the lady who slices my bologna at Ralph's.　　246　　00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,860　　抱歉　　我重来　　I'm sorry, I'll start again.　　247　　00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:09,000　　我还是说说我的梦境吧 对你有帮助吗　　Would it be helpful to you if I told you about my dreams?　　248　　00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,000　　我也不知道　　也许吧　　Um, I don't know, maybe.　　249　　00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:15,810　　我最近做了个梦 梦到我变成了巨人　　I recently had a dream that I was a giant.　　250　　00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,380　　但周围的东西还是原来的比例　　But everything around me was to scale,　　251　　00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,510　　所以相比之下没什么差别　　so it all looked normal.　　252　　00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:27,820　　既然周围东西都没什么变化 你怎么知道自己变成了巨人　　How did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?　　253　　00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:31,390　　我穿着条型号为一百万的裤子　　I was wearing size a million pants.　　254　　00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:36,530　　我们还是来自由谈话吧　　Why don't we just talk?　　255　　00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:40,170　　自由谈话疗法 经典精神分析疗法　　不错　　The talking cure. Classical Freudian. Good choice.　　256　　00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,170　　我补充一点可能会有所帮助　　If it will help speed things along,　　257　　00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,710　　我做标准罗夏墨迹测验的结果是　　uh, my answers to the standard Rorschach ink blot test are:　　258　　00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,710　　[投射测验: 猜测模糊图形以投射潜意识和内心想法]　　259　　00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:50,710　　图A　　蝙蝠　　图B　　蝙蝠 图C　　蝙蝠　　A) a bat, B) a bat, c) a bat,　　260　　00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:56,150　　图D　　我爸想用皮下注射器杀死我妈　　and D) my father killing my mother with a hypodermic needle.　　261　　00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:59,350　　还是我来说吧　　Why don't I just start?　　262　　00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:04,090　　这种事时有发生 人们难以接受一项荣誉　　Sometimes people have trouble accepting accolades　　263　　00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,960　　那是因为在潜意识中 他们自觉不配拥有　　if, on a subconscious level, they don't feel they deserve them.　　264　　00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,160　　会不会你的原因也是如此呢　　Do you think maybe that's what's happening here?　　265　　00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,730　　真的假的　　莱纳德　　Really, Leonard?　　266　　00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:16,670　　你是想把阿德勒学说中的　　You're just going to try to recycle Adler's doctrine　　267　　00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:18,100　　自卑情结套用在我身上吗　　of the inferiority complex?　　268　　00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:21,140　　这连拉尔夫餐厅的女招待都知道　　I could probably get that from the woman at Ralph's.　　269　　00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:24,580　　说不定她还会白送我芝士呢　　And she'd let me taste some pieces of cheese for free.　　270　　00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:26,510　　但这可能是问题所在　　But it could be part of your problem.　　271　　00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:27,910　　我举个例子吧　　Let me give you an example.　　272　　00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,520　　我8岁时　　When I was eight,　　273　　00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:31,720　　我的一个项目　　"古典音乐有助青豆生长"　　I won a ribbon at the science fair　　274　　00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:35,390　　在科技展上得了奖　　授予了我一条勋带　　for my project, "Do Lima Beans Grow Better to Classical Music."　　275　　00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,660　　但我妈妈却说　　But my mother pointed out　　276　　00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:40,590　　这和我哥哥以前的研究　　"摇滚乐有害于青豆生长"　　that it was just a rehash of my brother's earlier　　277　　00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,560　　根本没差　　只不过换汤不换药　　"Do Lima Beans Grow Worse to Rock 'n' Roll."　　278　　00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:48,800　　我倍受打击　　于是把勋带退了回去　　I felt so guilty, I gave the ribbon back.　　279　　00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,370　　你感觉如何　　And how did that make you feel?　　280　　00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:53,340　　糟透了　　Terrible.　　281　　00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:56,280　　对那个研究我付出了很多心血　　I worked really hard on that project.　　282　　00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:59,710　　我整晚都不睡　　就对着青豆芽　　I stayed up all night singing the clown's aria from Pagliacci　　283　　00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:02,550　　唱《丑角》里的咏叹调[莱昂卡瓦洛作曲]　　to a lima bean sprout.　　284　　00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,020　　继续说　　Go on.　　285　　00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:08,020　　这又不是我的错　　It wasn't my fault.　　286　　00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:10,620　　我不知道我哥的研究　　I had never seen my brother's project.　　287　　00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,830　　我妈之前本可以告诉我　　And my mother could've told me before　　288　　00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:16,060　　她却在颁奖典礼上当着众人面说出来　　instead of at the ceremony in front of everyone.　　289　　00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:21,470　　这么说 你很生你母亲的气咯　　So, I hear you saying you're angry with your mother.　　290　　00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:24,570　　当然气　　我恨死她了　　Damn right, I'm angry with my mother.　　291　　00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:32,750　　行行好嘛　　我那会儿才8岁　　For God's sake, I was eight years old.　　292　　00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:34,650　　她却这么当众羞辱我　　She humiliated me.　　293　　00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,550　　就是在那之后　　我又开始尿床　　That's when the bed-wetting started again.　　294　　00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:41,220　　多谢了　　莱纳德　　Thank you, Leonard.　　295　　00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:42,790　　谢什么啊　　For what?　　296　　00: 15:42,820 --> 00:15:44,590　　像你这样受了如此打击　　If someone as damaged as you　　297　　00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,990　　还能每天早上从床上爬起来　　can find his way to crawl out of bed each morning,　　298　　00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,500　　我想小小一个颁奖典礼　　应该不成问题　　I think I can face a simple award ceremony.　　299　　00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:55,000　　等等　　就这样吗 不是该有一整个小时的吗　　Wait, that's it? I thought we had a whole hour!　　300　　00:15:56,570 --> 00:16:00,470　　女士们先生们　　晚上好 我是莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士　　Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter,　　301　　00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:02,480　　很荣幸向各位隆重介绍　　and it is my very great honor to introduce　　302　　00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,380　　本年度大学科学奖得主　　the winner of this year's Chancellor's award for Science　　303　　00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:08,210　　我的好友谢尔顿·库珀博士　　and my good friend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.　　304　　00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,520　　但在此之前　　But before I do,　　305　　00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,950　　请允许我先宣读下谢尔顿母亲的来信　　I'd like to share with you a letter from Sheldon's mother,　　306　　00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:15," type="audio/mpeg" />-->