00:01:50,100　　■　　3　　00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:54,110　　翻译：YY　　小蛮腰　　取子小Q　　海因里希　　4　　00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:54,110　　■　　5　　00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:58,110　　后期：孤帆　　时间轴：小e　　6　　00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:58,110　　■　　7　　00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:02,110　　校对：Vin　　总监：YY　　8　　00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:02,110　　■　　9　　00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:06,010　　生活大爆炸　　第四季第五集　　10　　00:00:03,650 --> 00:00:05,640　　我只是想说　　一部像样的《绿巨人》　　All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent　　11　　00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,100　　让电影公司砸了不少钱　　trying to make a decent Hulk movie,　　12　　00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,550　　他们完全可以拿这笔钱　　造一个真正的绿巨人出来　　they could probably just make an actual Hulk.　　13　　00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,150　　这观点真是聪明又有趣　　That is apt and amusing.　　14　　00:00:13,150 --> 00:00:15,820　　我应该跟艾米·菲拉·福勒分享　　I think I shall share that with Amy Farrah Fowler.　　15　　00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,420　　她一定会欣赏你的妙语连珠　　She'll appreciate the witticism.　　16　　00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,300　　不敢当　　Thank you.　　17　　00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:23,340　　这同时也能改善你在她心目中的最初印象　　It'll also help improve her initial impression of you.　　18　　00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,490　　你们俩最近如何　　So what's going on with you two?　　19　　00:00:26,490 --> 00:00:29,320　　状态一直维持不变　　Well, the status is as it always was.　　20　　00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,000　　她是位女生　　她也是位朋友　　She's a girl. She's a friend.　　21　　00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,010　　但她不是我的　　She is not my--　　22　　00:00:32,010 --> 00:00:33,620　　请原谅我做这个动作　　please forgive me for doing this--　　23　　00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:35,320　　"女朋友"　　"Girlfriend."　　24　　00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:37,580　　好吧　　好吧　　Right, right.　　25　　00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,970　　所以你们一直保持在发短信和发邮件的阶段吗　　So you're still just texting and emailing?　　26　　00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:42,410　　你难道一点也不想跟她呆在一起吗　　比如　　You don't feel any need to hang out with her, you know--　　27　　00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,090　　呆在一个房间也好啊　　be in the same room?　　28　　00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:46,600　　莱纳德　　你是我最好的朋友　　Leonard, you are my best friend.　　29　　00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,490　　我认识你整整七年了　　I've known you for seven years,　　30　　00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:51,870　　而我却还难以忍受　　咱俩同坐在一个沙发上这个事实　　and I can barely tolerate sitting on the couch with you.　　31　　00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,050　　你就可以想象得到　　Imagine my attitude regarding　　32　　00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:57,710　　我对与艾米·菲拉·福勒长时间身体接触的态度了　　prolonged physical proximity to Amy Farrah Fowler.　　33　　00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,610　　明白了　　Got it.　　34　　00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,690　　我感觉你有意见　　I sense judgment on your part.　　35　　00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:03,490　　没有　　哪有　　No, no.　　36　　00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,390　　或许有那么一点儿吧　　Maybe a little.　　37　　00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:10,240　　我可以认为你的批评是基于嫉妒吗　　May I suggest that your criticism is based on jealousy.　　38　　00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:12,960　　嫉妒　　有什么值得让我嫉妒的　　Jealousy? What do I have to be jealous of?　　39　　00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,740　　我与一位女性有一段运行良好且令人满意的关系　　I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female.　　40　　00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:20,390　　而你没有　　You have none.　　41　　00:01:20,970 --> 00:01:22,700　　被你说中了　　Oh, right. That.　　42　　00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,080　　嫉妒是一个丑陋的　　眼发绿光的怪物　　Jealousy is an ugly green-eyed monster--　　43　　00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,460　　跟绿巨人浩克一样　　not unlike the Hulk--　　44　　00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:29,240　　随便说一下　　人家也是有女朋友的　　who, by the way, also has a girlfriend.　　45　　00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,650　　在这段重播里　　妮弗·康纳利　　In this iteration, Jennifer Connelly,　　46　　00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:34,200　　或许你记得的版本是《美丽心灵》里　　whom you may recall as the girlfriend of Russell Crowe　　47　　00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,430　　罗素·克洛的女朋友　　in A Beautiful Mind,　　48　　00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:38,360　　说不定都和绿巨人共赴巫山了　　a feel-good romp if there ever was one.　　49　　00:01:39,990 --> 00:01:41,570　　我才没有嫉妒　　I'm not jealous.　　50　　00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,820　　莱纳德一点儿也不嫉妒　　Leonard not jealous.　　51　　00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:15,010　　我刚想到一件事　　You know, it just occurred to me,　　52　　00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:18,370　　如果存在千万个平行宇宙　　if there are an infinite number of parallel universes,　　53　　00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:21,160　　在其中的一个　　那里很可能有一位谢尔顿　　in one of them, there's probably a Sheldon　　54　　00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,170　　他根本不相信有平行宇宙的存在　　who doesn't believe parallel universes exist.　　55　　00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:26,970　　很可能　　你的重点是什么　　Probably. What's your point?　　56　　00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:27,840　　没重点　　No point.　　57　　00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,010　　这只是让千万个我中的某我　　It's just one of the things　　58　　00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:31,560　　发笑的理由之一　　that makes one of the mes chuckle.　　59　　00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,440　　莱纳德　　什么事会让你发笑　　What makes you chuckle, Leonard?　　60　　00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,760　　最近吗　　Hmm, recently?　　61　　00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:38,970　　不是很多　　Not much.　　62　　00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:40,960　　是因为那场争端吗　　起因于　　Is it because of the conflict that arises　　63　　00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,300　　你极其需要与一个女人建立对偶关系　　from your desperate need to pair-bond with a woman,　　64　　00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:45,730　　而显然所有的女性做出的决定　　and the apparent collective decision of all womankind　　65　　00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,950　　都是否决了你　　to deny you that opportunity?　　66　　00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:51,830　　呃　　Um...　　67　　00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,670　　你还是把嘴闭上吧　　Shut up.　　68　　00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:56,100　　当我爷爷过世之后　　You know, when my grandfather died,　　69　　00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,890　　剩奶奶独自一人　　我妈妈就安排　　and Meemaw was alone, my mom arranged for her　　70　　00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,810　　让她一周去三次活动中心　　to visit a center three times a week　　71　　00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:04,050　　在那里　　她可以与同样孤独的人交流　　where she could socialize with other lonely people.　　72　　00:03:04,670 --> 00:03:05,670　　这个安排非常好　　It's very nice.　　73　　00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:09,460　　他们讨论时事　　玩桥牌　　吃热乎乎的饭　　They discuss current events, play bridge, get a hot meal.　　74　　00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:11,050　　听起来不错　　That sounds lovely.　　75　　00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:12,980　　如果你喜欢玩桥牌的话　　It is if you like bridge.　　76　　00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:16,070　　你喜欢玩桥牌吗　　莱纳德　　Do you like bridge, Leonard?　　77　　00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,350　　谢尔顿　　我只是现在没有人约会而已　　Sheldon, I'm just not dating someone right now.　　78　　00:03:19,350 --> 00:03:21,850　　不用把我送到老年活动中心吧　　I don't need to go to a senior center.　　79　　00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:26,410　　奶奶一开始也是拒绝　　但后来她欲罢不能　　Meemaw resisted at first, but now she loves it.　　80　　00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:28,420　　好　　如果我最近还没碰到合适的人　　Fine. If I don't meet someone soon,　　81　　00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:30,210　　你就把我送去养老院得了　　you can put me in a home.　　82　　00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,080　　那不是养老院　　It's not a home.　　83　　00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,670　　是老年人活动中心　　It's a senior center.　　84　　00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:37,320　　我们绝不会把奶奶送到养老院　　We'd never put Meemaw in a home!　　85　　00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:39,560　　嗨　　大家好啊　　Hey, guys.　　86　　00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,940　　-嗨　　-嗨　　- Hey.　　- Hey.　　87　　00:03:40,940 --> 00:03:43,920　　我屈服于社交的压力　　跟你们打声招呼吧　　All right, I'll bow to social pressure: Hey!　　88　　00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:48,550　　抱歉　　我女朋友伯纳黛特打来的　　Excuse me. That's my girlfriend, Bernadette.　　89　　00:03:48,550 --> 00:03:50,160　　我给她设了专门的铃声　　I assigned her her own ringtone--　　90　　00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,170　　用的“四顶尖”唱的《伯纳黛特》　　"Bernadette," By The Four Tops.　　91　　00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:54,270　　伯纳黛特　　你好啊　　Hello, Bernadette.　　92　　00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,200　　我给他打电话时　　铃声是"褐眼女孩"　　When I call him, his phone plays "Brown Eyed Girl."　　93　　00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,480　　现在回想起来　　好像不是那么好了　　Which, now that I think about it, is not so good.　　94　　00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,840　　你应该意识到　　他是在炫耀他有女朋友而咱们没有　　You realize he's just rubbing our noses in the fact　　95　　00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,850　　故意让咱们不爽　　that he has a girlfriend, and we don't.　　96　　00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:08,640　　你是说　　你没有吧　　You mean, you don't.　　97　　00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:10,550　　连你都有女朋友了　　You have a girlfriend?　　98　　00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,360　　你怎么会有女朋友呢　　How could you have a girlfriend?　　99　　00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:12,620　　你在女人面前连话都说不出来　　You can't even speak to women.　　100　　00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:15,590　　送你两个字　　聋女　　Two words-- deaf chick.　　101　　00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,300　　所以我说不说话都没关系　　It doesn't matter if I can't talk,　　102　　00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,260　　因为她根本听不见　　because she can't hear me.　　103　　00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:21,820　　什么　　What?　　104　　00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:23,610　　这是她的原话　　That's what she said.　　105　　00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:27,730　　很好　　你有女朋友　　霍华德有女朋友　　Great. You have a girlfriend, Howard's got a girlfriend,　　106　　00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:28,950　　-谢尔顿有女　　-错错错错　　- Sheldon's got a girl... - No, no, no, no!　　107　　00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:30,080　　女性朋友　　...who's a friend.　　108　　00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,510　　多谢　　Thank you.　　109　　00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:33,620　　你呢　　斯图特　　What about you, Stuart?　　110　　00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,970　　你有女朋友了吗　　You have a girlfriend yet?　　111　　00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,070　　有了　　有了　　Oh, yeah. Yeah.　　112　　00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:37,850　　我们是在动漫大会上相遇的　　I met her at Comic-Con,　　113　　00:04:37,850 --> 00:04:39,190　　那里是全世界唯一一个地方　　the one place in the world where saying　　114　　00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:40,520　　可以用"我有一家漫画书屋"　　"I own a comic bookstore"　　115　　00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,670　　作为真正的开场白　　is an actual pickup line.　　116　　00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:44,800　　哇哦　　恭喜你　　Oh. Well, good for you.　　117　　00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,830　　其实她很可怕　　Not really. She's horrible.　　118　　00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:48,740　　当她想做爱的时候　　When she wants to have sex,　　119　　00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:51,700　　她会穿上她超大号的神奇女侠装　　然后大喊　　she puts on her plus-size Wonder Woman costume and shouts,　　120　　00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:54,670　　"谁想坐一下我的隐形飞机"　　"Who wants to take a ride in my invisible plane?"　　121　　00:04:56,810 --> 00:04:58,820　　你为什么不直接跟她分手呢　　Why don't you just break up with her?　　122　　00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,460　　不　　我做不到　　No, no, I can't.　　123　　00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:01,030　　为什么　　Why not?　　124　　00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,590　　因为分手后　　我形影单只　　像你一样　　'Cause then I'd be alone, like you.　　125　　00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,740　　兄弟　　你为什么不让沃罗威茨　　Dude, why don't you just invoke　　126　　00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,500　　履行女友条例呢　　your girlfriend pact with Wolowitz?　　127　　00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:12,340　　因为我用不着他女朋友　　Because I don't need his girlfriend　　128　　00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,200　　介绍一个女朋友给我　　to set me up with one of her girlfriends.　　129　　00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,350　　我完全有能力自己找一个女朋友　　I'm perfectly capable of finding a girl on my own.　　130　　00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,850　　莱纳德　　你让我想到　　Oh, Leonard, you remind me　　131　　00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,540　　一个古老的搞笑故事　　of the funny old story about a man　　132　　00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:23,800　　是讲一个男人拿着一叠　　who walks into a women's correctional institution　　133　　00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,190　　女囚犯的释放许可　　with a stack of paperwork　　134　　00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:27,780　　走进女子监狱　　that will allow the female convicts to go free.　　135　　00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,450　　你是想说　　我即使拿着赦令　　You're saying I couldn't get laid　　136　　00:05:29,450 --> 00:05:32,350　　走进女子监狱　　也没人会跟我上床　　in a women's prison with a handful of pardons.　　137　　00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,490　　你到底还让不让我讲这个故事了　　Are you going to let me tell the story or not?　　138　　00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:41,260　　莱纳德　　Leonard?　　139　　00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:42,810　　你在睡觉吗　　Are you sleeping?　　140　　00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:43,620　　没有　　No.　　141　　00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:44,800　　你病了吗　　Are you ill?　　142　　00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,010　　没有　　No.　　143　　00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:46,910　　你还为你的寂寞和无人疼爱　　Are you still depressed　　144　　00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:49,140　　而郁郁寡欢吗　　because you're alone, and no one loves you?　　145　　00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,540　　不知道　　也许吧　　I don't know. Maybe.　　146　　00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:53,800　　我想让你知道　　我由衷地关心　　I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned　　147　　00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,420　　你的身体健康　　about your well-being.　　148　　00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,360　　-谢谢　　-不用客气　　- Thank you.　　- You're welcome.　　149　　00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,540　　但是你还是没有理由把脚放在我的位子上　　But it's still no reason to have your feet in my spot.　　150　　00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:05,610　　我可以说说我的看法吗　　May I offer an observation?　　151　　00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,510　　搞什么　　她在这多久了　　What the hell? How long has she been here?　　152　　00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:11,490　　打我们从漫画店回来开始　　Since we got home from the comic bookstore.　　153　　00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:13,260　　那是两小时前的事了　　That was two hours ago.　　154　　00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:14,660　　根据你的建议　　As per your suggestion,　　155　　00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:15,800　　我们正在相处　　we're hanging out.　　156　　00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:16,900　　老实说　　我都不知道　　Quite frankly, I don't see　　157　　00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:18,590　　你有什么好大惊小怪的　　what all the hoopla's about.　　158　　00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:19,900　　继续说　　艾米　　Go on, Amy.　　159　　00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:22,030　　从神经生物学的角度看　　莱纳德　　From a neurobiological standpoint, Leonard,　　160　　00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:22,770　　你之所以独身　　you may be alone　　161　　00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:24,590　　可能是由于你的心理状态　　because your psychological state is causing　　162　　00:06:24,590 --> 00:06:28,010　　导致你的身体散发出绝望的味道　　an actual pheromone-based stink of desperation.　　163　　00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:30,670　　你知道这个理论吗　　莱纳德　　Did you know that, Leonard?　　164　　00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:32,850　　-不知道　　-我就知道　　- No.　　- I did.　　165　　00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,410　　我知道有些人在公共聚集场所　　I understand that some people find mates　　166　　00:06:35,410 --> 00:06:38,410　　像是酒吧或是小酒馆里寻找伴侣　　in social gathering places such as bars or taverns.　　167　　00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:40,040　　你到酒吧或是酒馆试过吗　　Have you tried a bar or tavern?　　168　　00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,290　　没有　　我才不要去酒吧里泡妞呢　　No, I'm not gonna try to pick up a woman in a bar.　　169　　00:06:42,290 --> 00:06:44,540　　明智的决定　　听我分析　　艾米　　Wise decision. You see, Amy,　　170　　00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:48,200　　想要在酒吧成功找到伴侣　　是要靠　　success at a bar is based on classic male attributes　　171　　00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,330　　典型的男性特质的　　像是身高　　力量　　such as height, strength, attractiveness,　　172　　00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:54,040　　魅力　　还有喝酒和投飞镖的能力　　the ability to hold one's liquor and throw darts --　　173　　00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,410　　或是边喝酒边投飞镖的能力　　separately or together.　　174　　00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:57,720　　而莱纳德不具备其中的任何一点特质　　Leonard has none of these attributes,　　175　　00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,300　　对吧　　莱纳德　　right, Leonard?　　176　　00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,440　　没错　　Right.　　177　　00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,860　　并不是在所有吧都要这样的　　That's not true of all bars.　　178　　00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:06,280　　比如说果汁吧　　Juice bars, for example.　　179　　00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,390　　说得好　　艾米　　Oh! Good point, Amy.　　180　　00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:10,140　　在这个前提下　　Yeah, building on your premise,　　181　　00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:12,560　　莱纳德可以经常光顾寿司吧　　Leonard could frequent sushi bars,　　182　　00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,480　　沙拉吧　　生蚝吧　　salad bars, oyster bars,　　183　　00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,720　　还有苹果天才吧　　你在干吗　　the Apple Genius Bar...what are you doing?　　184　　00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,510　　继续说吧　　我听着呢　　Keep going. I'm listening.　　185　　00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:22,120　　真没礼貌　　That was rude.　　186　　00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,600　　他总是这样　　He does it all the time.　　187　　00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,650　　他就是社交无能的集合体　　He's a cornucopia of social awkwardness.　　188　　00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:28,820　　集合体　　Cornucopia.　　189　　00:07:28,820 --> 00:07:30,100　　多么甜美流畅的词呀　　What a mellifluous word.　　190　　00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,000　　就把这个词定为今日美词吧　　Let's make that our word of the day.　　191　　00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,000　　同意　　明天开始用"甜美流畅"　　Agreed. And we'll use mellifluous tomorrow.　　192　　00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:38,250　　我要去排空一下我的膀胱　　Well, I have to void my bladder.　　193　　00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,400　　跟你一起相处很愉快　　It was nice spending this time with you.　　194　　00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,470　　等一下　　Wait.　　195　　00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,020　　我有个请求　　I have a request.　　196　　00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:43,880　　什么请求　　Yes?　　197　　00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,680　　我想让你见见我的母亲　　I'd like you to meet my mother.　　198　　00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,770　　知道了　　I see.　　199　　00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,380　　我回头答复你好吗　　Can I get back to you on that?　　200　　00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,990　　当然可以　　晚安　　Certainly. Good night.　　201　　00:07:49,990 --> 00:07:51,730　　晚安　　Good night.　　202　　00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:58,470　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,　　203　　00:07:58,470 --> 00:07:59,980　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,　　204　　00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,640　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard, Leonard, leonard,　　205　　00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,290　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,　　206　　00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:04,880　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,　　207　　00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:05,890　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard, Leonard,　　208　　00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:06,950　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard, Leonard...　　209　　00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,460　　干吗　　Yeah, what?　　210　　00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,840　　艾米·菲拉·福勒让我见她母亲　　Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.　　211　　00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,380　　那又怎样　　Yeah. So?　　212　　00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:15,150　　这是什么意思　　What does that mean?　　213　　00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:17,850　　你不是总是说　　Well, you know how you're always saying　　214　　00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:19,610　　艾米只是你的女性朋友吗　　that Amy is a girl who's your friend,　　215　　00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:21,010　　而不是你的女朋友　　and not your girlfriend?　　216　　00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:23,360　　-嗯　　-你以后就不能再这么说咯　　- Uh-huh.　　- You can't say that anymore.　　217　　00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,670　　等一下　　你说什么　　Wait. What?　　218　　00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:28,690　　她很显然　　Look, she obviously wants　　219　　00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:31,070　　想要你们的关系更进一步　　to take your relationship to the next level.　　220　　00:08:31,070 --> 00:08:32,580　　我不想更进一步　　I don't want the next level.　　221　　00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,490　　我喜欢现在这步　　I like this level.　　222　　00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:36,890　　帮我搞掂她　　Fix it for me!　　223　　00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:38,580　　我　　Me?　　224　　00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:40,240　　我怎么帮你搞掂啊　　Well, how am I supposed to fix it?　　225　　00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,160　　很简单　　你想要女朋友　　Simple! You want a girlfriend,　　226　　00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,700　　艾米想要当别人的女朋友　　Amy wants to be someone's girlfriend.　　227　　00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,370　　我把她给你　　我会祝福你们的　　Take her off my hands. I give you my blessing.　　228　　00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:48,740　　你都疯的　　That is insane.　　229　　00:08:48,740 --> 00:08:49,850　　没错　　不会成功的　　You're right. It would never work.　　230　　00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:51,670　　艾米觉得你很乏味　　Amy finds you tedious.　　231　　00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:53,460　　好吧　　祝你好运　　Okay, good luck.　　232　　00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,840　　等一下　　我该怎么办啊　　Wait! What am I supposed to do?　　233　　00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,980　　你有没有想过跟她分享你的感受　　Well, have you considered telling her how you feel?　　234　　00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:01,470　　莱纳德　　我是物理学家　　不是嬉皮士　　Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.　　235　　00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,070　　好吧　　让我想想　　All right, well, let me see　　236　　00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:08,030　　看我能不能用物理现象解释给你听　　if I can explain your situation using physics.　　237　　00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,130　　如果说你被绑在　　What would you be　　238　　00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:11,150　　一个围绕轴心成螺旋状的　　if you were attached to another object　　239　　00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:15,700　　倾斜平面上的话　　你的下场会是什么　　by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?　　240　　00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,600　　拧一块儿了[也有完蛋的意思]　　Screwed.　　241　　00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:21,840　　懂了吧　　There you go.　　242　　00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,090　　艾米说的没错　　Amy's right.　　243　　00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:28,020　　他真没劲儿　　He is tedious.　　244　　00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,980　　霍华德　　去开门　　Howard, get the door!　　245　　00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:39,270　　你干嘛不去　　Why can't you get it?　　246　　00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:44,190　　你知道我在为准备结肠镜检查浣肠　　You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy!　　247　　00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,770　　我这里就像个大头朝下的火山　　I'm like an upside-down volcano here.　　248　　00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:53,240　　是你呀　　好啊　　Oh, hey.　　249　　00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,960　　但愿你没听到　　I hope you didn't hear that.　　250　　00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,990　　火山什么的吗　　没听到　　The volcano thing? No.　　251　　00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,200　　怎么穿了这么一件T恤　　What's with the T-shirt?　　252　　00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,690　　现在在苹果专卖店打工了吗　　You working at the Apple store now?　　253　　00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:03,190　　不是啦　　就是随便穿的　　No, it's just something I threw on.　　254　　00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:04,640　　你的衣服我都认得　　I know all your shirts.　　255　　00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,330　　你没这件　　That's not one of them...　　256　　00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:07,890　　你假装在天才咨询吧工作　　You were pretending to work at the Genius Bar　　257　　00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:10,090　　借机泡妞是不是　　to pick up women, weren't you?　　258　　00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,670　　是　　Yeah.　　259　　00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:15,570　　我发现原来他们只管看着iPod　　Turns out, they guard the iPods,　　260　　00:10:15,570 --> 00:10:17,490　　没人管这些T恤　　but they don't guard the shirts.　　261　　00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,620　　那成果如何　　So, how'd it go?　　262　　00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,030　　本来挺顺利的　　It was going well.　　263　　00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:22,390　　我给个辣妹展示　　I was showing this super hot girl　　264　　00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:23,710　　怎样从安全模式启动　　how to boot up in Safe Mode.　　265　　00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:27,850　　经理起了疑心　　长话短说吧　　The manager got suspicious, and, well, long story short,　　266　　00:10:27,850 --> 00:10:30,670　　那商场里真的有个小号房　　they really do have a little jail in the mall.　　267　　00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,720　　听哥句劝　　千万别贴上假胡子接着回去装　　Just FYI, don't try to go back with a fake mustache.　　268　　00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,310　　他们虽然不天才　　I mean, they may not really be geniuses,　　269　　00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:38,500　　却能立马看出你是装的　　but they see right through that.　　270　　00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,090　　我申请调用女友约定　　霍华德　　I want to invoke the girlfriend pact, Howard.　　271　　00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,250　　你这么饥渴　　You that desperate?　　272　　00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:45,600　　也不是　　我就是想像你一样　　No, I just... I want what you have.　　273　　00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,530　　你懂的　　身边有个女人　　You know, I want a woman in my life.　　274　　00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,200　　天呐　　Holy Moses,　　275　　00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:53,230　　菊花到底能灌进多少液体啊　　how much liquid can be in one tokus?　　276　　00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:58,790　　明确一下　　我说的是伯纳黛特不是你妈　　To be clear, I meant like Bernadette, not your mother.　　277　　00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:00,410　　我明白你的意思　　Yeah, I know what you mean.　　278　　00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,460　　我要去见伯纳黛特的朋友了　　Well, I'm off to meet Bernadette's friend.　　279　　00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:07,730　　我看起来咋样　　How do I look?　　280　　00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,030　　就好像《人体异形》里　　As if one of the plants　　281　　00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:13,600　　某植物复制出来的你　　from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way,　　282　　00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,150　　不过是海量发胶版的　　only with an absurd amount of hair gel.　　283　　00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:18,620　　你在干嘛呢　　What are you working on?　　284　　00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:21,580　　我在清除我的网络足迹　　I'm removing my digital footprint from the Internet　　285　　00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,710　　这样艾米·菲拉·福勒就找不到我了　　so Amy Farrah Fowler can't find me　　286　　00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:26,310　　也就没法逼我见她妈了　　and compel me to meet her mother. Ah.　　287　　00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,730　　你是在玩儿失踪啊　　You're going off the grid.　　288　　00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:28,900　　正解　　Exactly.　　289　　00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,480　　早年炸弹客的做法啊　　不错嘛　　The old Unabomber approach. Kudos.　　290　　00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,480　　16岁进哈佛　　25岁成伯克利教授　　后隐居邮寄炸弹　　291　　00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:33,490　　多谢　　Thank you.　　292　　00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:36,820　　我还发给了艾米一封关系终止通知　　I've also sent Amy a relationship termination notice　　293　　00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:40,320　　并更换了手机号和邮箱地址　　and changed my cell phone number and e-mail address.　　294　　00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,300　　她直接过来怎么办　　What if she just comes over?　　295　　00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,440　　她找不到的　　She'll get lost.　　296　　00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,160　　我们已经不住Los Robles 2311号了　　We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles.　　297　　00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,730　　我们的现住址是Los Robles 311号　　We now live at 311 Los Robles.　　298　　00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:56,050　　你把门牌号给改了　　You changed the address on the building?　　299　　00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:57,000　　信件怎么办　　What about mail?　　300　　00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,000　　放心吧　　我跟咱的邮差解释了　　Oh, no worries-- I explained my predicament　　301　　00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,100　　我当前的囧境　　to our letter carrier.　　302　　00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,130　　他很是同情　　He was sympathetic.　　303　　00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:02,580　　他的原话是　　His exact words were:　　304　　00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:03,740　　"哥们挺你　　兄弟　　"Got your back, Jack.　　305　　00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:05,890　　妞儿们都疯了"　　Bitches be crazy."　　306　　00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,690　　谁啊　　Who is it?　　307　　00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:15,600　　艾米·菲拉·福勒　　Amy Farrah Fowler.　　308　　00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:20,560　　我去　　被她逮到了　　Darn! She found me!　　309　　00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,760　　她来过这里好不好　　She's been here before.　　310　　00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:27,010　　智者千虑必有一失　　The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan.　　311　　00:12:28,550 --> 00:12:29,800　　现在你得挺我　　兄弟　　Now, get my back, Jack.　　312　　00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,680　　-你想让我怎么办　　-跟她说我不在　　- What do you want to do? - Tell her I'm not here.　　313　　00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,290　　-那你在哪儿　　-不知道　　- Okay, where are you? - I don't know.　　314　　00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,800　　你得自己设计个情节　　You'll have to devise a scenario　　315　　00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,550　　合理地解释我的不在场　　that plausibly explains my absence,　　316　　00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:41,160　　要记得　　说谎的秘诀在于善于编织细节　　keeping in mind that the key to a good lie lies in the details.　　317　　00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,000　　你好啊　　艾米　　Hi, Amy.　　318　　00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,360　　谢尔顿不在　　Sheldon's not here.　　319　　00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,000　　好吧　　All right.　　320　　00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,680　　细节编织得可真到位呀　　Way to go on the details.　　321　　00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,570　　再次感谢你帮我　　伯纳黛特　　Thanks again for doing this, Bernadette.　　322　　00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:11,980　　我向来恪守约定　　Oh, I take pacts very seriously.　　323　　00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:13,110　　有一次在实验室　　One time at my lab,　　324　　00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:16,600　　一个转基因超级病毒培养皿不见了　　a petri dish of genetically modified super-virus went missing.　　325　　00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,720　　那天我们都拉钩发誓绝不承认　　That day we made a pinky swear never to admit　　326　　00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,370　　我们曾让埃博拉病毒和伤寒病毒结合　　we crossed Ebola with the common cold.　　327　　00:13:23,310 --> 00:13:24,050　　你们为什么要　　Why the hell　　328　　00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:27,330　　让埃博拉病毒和伤寒病毒结合　　would you cross Ebola with the common cold?　　329　　00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:28,710　　我们没有啊　　We never did.　　330　　00:13:28,710 --> 00:13:31,840　　那样就太可怕了　　That would be a terrible, terrible thing.　　331　　00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:35,660　　大家好　　抱歉迟到了　　我从健身房来　　Hi. Sorry I'm late-- I was at the gym.　　332　　00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:38,910　　动感训练课　　真出了不少汗呢　　Spin class-- worked up quite a sweat.　　333　　00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:44,460　　乔伊　　这是莱纳德　　莱纳德　　这是乔伊　　Joy, this is Leonard. Leonard, this is Joy.　　334　　00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:45,790　　-好啊　　-好　　- Hi." type="audio/mpeg" />-->