Psychologists refer to these factors as warmth and competence(胜任) respectively, and ideally you want to be considered as having both. Interestingly, Cuddy says that most people, especially in a professional environment, believe that competence is the foremost factor. After all, they want to prove that they are smart and talented enough to qualify your business.
But in fact warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people evaluate you. “From an evolutionary view,” Cuddy says, “it is more important to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust.” It makes sense when you consider that in cavemen days it was more important to figure out if your fellow man was going to kill you and steal all your possessions than if he was competent enough to build a good fire.
Cuddy抯 new book explores how to feel more confident. While competence is highly valued, Cuddy says it is evaluated only after trust is established. And focusing too much on displaying your strength can backfire( 产生事与愿违的不良后果). Cuddy says MBA interns(实习生) are often so concerned about coming across as smart and competent that it can lead them to skip social events, not ask for help, and generally come off as unapproachable.
These overachievers are in for a rude awakening when they don’t get the job offer because nobody got to know and trust them as people. “If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even cause doubt because you come across as manipulative(会摆布人的),” Cuddy says. “A warm, trustworthy person who is also competent gains admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.”
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